Heart full of sadness

Let me preface this post by saying I'm more than likely going to go off on a huge tangent, that won't make sense much at all. I'm not as concise a writer as Liz and Mom are, but gosh darnit, I have feelings and I need to get them out there.

Today a co-worker told me he was moving. He was moving to my other coworkers neighborhood...down South. Now, here's the situation with me saying "down south". Here in wonderful, beautiful, homey Lincoln there seem to be two separate towns. The North, and the South. In recent years (and I honestly cannot pinpoint exactly when this trend started happening, I've only been here 8 years) there has been a HUGE development of neighborhoods, shopping marts, car dealerships, etc., etc., down south. Apparently (from what I've been told anyway), down south is safer, for the rich, and the "it" place to be because it is safer and for the rich. Whatever, that's fine. You should have the right to live wherever you want, and I have no right to judge.

HOWEVER, if you can look me in the eye and say that you are moving south for this one specific reason (which was stated to me today by my coworker), than I have every right in the world to judge you. My coworker actually said of the reasons his family will be moving "down south" is because of "better schools". Hmmmm, how is that really, if ALL of Lincoln (minus the few private schools that are around) is under ONE school system...LPS. It's ONE Public School System, with the same curriculum, the same policies, the same goals, the same tests (which, might I add, is the same test as every school in this country that receives federal funding), the same pool of money in which to draw from. How, might I ask, is a school "down south" a "better" school for your children if all these criteria are in fact...truth?

The truth of the matter is this. There is definitely a division between North Lincoln and South Lincoln. The buildings are different: North Lincoln is definitely older, its the original Lincoln after all, whereas South Lincoln is all flashy, and bricky (it's my best explanation, everything is made in Brick, Seriously), the residential houses are beautiful and large, and every little girls dream to someday have. But, also, sadly, there is a difference between North and South Lincoln in demographics, household income, and crime rates (for now at least). North Lincoln has been forgotten it seems. People (like my coworker) up and move to the newer, flashier, more beautiful life of South Lincoln because it is exactly that...Beautiful. But what happens to North Lincoln when you leave?

The trend as been, unfortunately, crime. Yes, there are certain areas in North Lincoln that have homes that you can just tell a drugie lives there. Yes, there are areas in North Lincoln where you might be afraid to walk alone at night. Yes, I will agree wholeheartedly in all these things. But it makes me so very very sad.

People apparently move to South Lincoln to fulfill some sort of fantasy (that's my opinion of course). Their kids will be safer, their kids will live in a homey/lovey neighborhood where they can walk back and forth between houses at night with no fear. I understand the allure, and I'd be lying if I didn't say there are times living in North Lincoln I am afraid. But...I can't help but be completely saddened by the trend of everyone picking up their lives in North Lincoln...and living it to shambles for the brightness of South Lincoln.

My coworker said to me: "It's not so much the school is bad, Theresa, it's that the PEOPLE who go there make it a not good school". What does that mean? If you are like me, you might think that's a fairly racist comment. IF you are not like me...please, tell me what that means?

I looked at my coworker and said: "But it's never going to get better if good families like you keep moving away".

He said: "That might be true, but I don't want to be the family that makes that change, I want my kids to be safe".

No, I don't blame him. I totally agree with him. I want my kids (in the very far future) to be safe as well. Heck, I want ME to be safe. I want my husband who will one day (god willing) be working at one of these high schools to be safe. But even more than that, I want every child who goes to every school in this town to be SAFE. I'm an equal opportunity kind of person I guess.

IF he doesn't want to be the one to help make the change, who will? I know this sounds cliche, but seriously. Who will?

I've said this in posts before: Sometimes, all a neighborhood needs, all a struggling family needs, all a young child who may be going down the wrong path in life...into criminality needs is Hope, and Love, and knowing that there are people all around them who care about them, and want nothing more than for them to succeed.

If we stay in Lincoln, I want to be in North Lincoln. I don't want to abandon these historic neighborhoods, that yes, at the moment have lost their appeal, and brightness. But, I guess what I'm saying is that I WANT to be one of the people that starts to make that CHANGE in those neighborhoods happen.

Why do these neighborhoods fall apart? My theory, which is actually supported by TONS of research, but I will cite MYSELF in this blog. The run down neighborhoods of Lincoln (and all over the United States I would venture) are this way because the families have no time to keep up the facade of it all. Kids are getting into trouble in these rundown neighborhoods because their parents are working 2, 3, maybe even 4 jobs to attempt to KEEP a roof over their kids heads. With the parents away...mice will play.

I'm saddened by all of this because it's not fair. This is freaking AMERICA people. This is where we are supposed to be the most caring, the most loving, the brightest in all the land...and all we do is pack up our shit...and move to a newer, shinier place rather than stay behind and fix our messes....and Yes, maybe their aren't necessarily our individual messes, but aren't we as a people all in this life, this world, together? Aren't we? And if we aren't...don't you think it's about time that we start to be?