Inside Look

New Year, New Me!

2010-12-31T12:58:00.003-06:00

Yea, that is what people always say when a New year comes around. But I'm sick of being in the life I'm in. I love a lot of things about my life, but there's constantly a nagging in the back of my head that makes me think there is so much more that I can be. This is going to be a great year. I don't have any specific resolutions, other than the ones I'm going to write out at the end of this post. My main goal is to be goal driven, to push harder, to stop saying "someday" and to just do it, just do the things I want and stop waiting for things to be in the right order or time or whatever to do the things I've wanted to do "someday". So, without further ado, Ibid you farewell 2010. We had some great times...I bought a house this year, I got moved to a different city for my job, I had some major struggles with my husband (which is definitely something I'll be working on in the new year), I've doubted my ideas of life and love, and it's been a great freaking ride. Thank you 2010, and HELLO 2011, I'm looking forward to some great times, and some great struggles to make me an even better person.

My specific resolutions:
1. No more alcohol: The primary reason for this is to focus on my health. I've gotten to the point of working out more regularly than I ever have in my life, now it's time to tackle my eating habits and my drinking. Every Fitness expert says alcohol is the FIRST thing you should cut. So...I'm going to try VERY VERY hard to tackle my long time goal of no more alcohol. Maybe I'll start off slowly, cut back a ton of my drinking, and than, before you know it, I won't drink any at all anymore. Sort of like I did with smoking, and soda...I can do it. Just have to set my mind to it!!!

2. Goals: I will start a goal list, and write them down daily. The only way to achieve anything (so Chalene Johnson says) is to write a to-do list, and everyday to have one or two items on your to do list be a task that will move you closer to your ultimate goals. I haven't quite figured out my ultimate goals...but I'll get there. A think a daily to-do list will help me focus and I'll keep you updated on the grand scheme of my life when I figure it out.

3. Travel: I spend a lot of time in my life saving money for "someday". I'm not a millionaire, or even a thousandaire (is that even a word?) by any means, but what I do have would be enough for some travel. I'd like to travel this year, Ireland, a 7 wonder (wouldn't Egypt be absolutely AMAZING), meet Laurel's family at the Great wall...the world is my oyster! I can figure it out, once I start my daily to do lists. :) So...travel. First step...passport. If I use it, great, and if I decide to just travel in the United States, that's fine too...but no more SOMEDAY. DO IT NOW!!!

4. House Updates: Again, no more "someday". I keep adding things to my house to do list, and never crossing things off. I hate that. I hate knowing that I can do things, for cheaper than I think I can, with my house. It's time to just put it all together. Get my storage and closets organized, get my decorations up and running, figure out my scrapbook room, build things...no more "i can't do this" or "i don't know how to" or "i can't afford that", i never will be able to do anything if I don't try. What's the harm in trying. Seriously! Just do it Theresa. Buy those pieces of art you have been thinking you like, but are too worried its too "out there" and just DO IT. Just buy it, and try it, and ifyou hate it, you hate it, and you sell it, or you donate it, or whatever. What's the freaking harm. Just Do!!!!

5. Learn to Love More Fully: I keep grudges. Worse than anyone I know I'm pretty certain. Some days I feel like I'm stone cold, a bitter, angry, unloveable and unloving shrew. I need to appreciate those around me, relish in their love for me, in their positive life aspects, and even in their faults. I have great people around me...it's time I make them see and understand that I know that, and that I appreciate it. I need to just stop being bitter, and angry, and pissed with people, and the world, and just LOVE more fully. How hard can it be.

6. Come up with my "Big Goals": What's my purpose. What is my passion. What do I want to achieve in my life. Not just my job...although I love my job. There's got to be more I want. Fitness Instructor? Maybe. Business Owner? Perhaps. Mother? that could be in the cards. The world, like I said earlier, is my oyster!

Happy New Year everyone. I love you, and Life is going to be great for all of us!!!!

Something fun to pass the time!

2009-10-27T14:40:00.001-05:00

I know, I haven't blogged in forever, but I decided this might be a fun thing to do!

This is my website for everything NEW MOON, and they are doing a community reread of New Moon, or something like that. So, I decided to join in on the fun. Tonight, when I get home from work, I will indeed read Chapter 1 again, and than come back and edit this post to leave some of my thoughts with you. I figure I'll do it here rather than their website because...well, you people know me. Or at least...Laurel, you know me! :) haha

EDIT:
Ok, so I went back and read the 1st chapter. The whole time I was reading I was trying to find a quote that was my favorite, but there really wasn't one. Obviously, this chapter has a lot of necessary information in it, I think, that need to be in the film.

*I don't necessarily think Bella and Edward need to watch Romeo and Juliet, but it does bring up the fact that Edward refuses to live without Bella, and he would go to the Volturi if/when she is gone...it'll be interesting to see how they do that in the movie.

*I forgot how annoying Bella is. Seriously, you are 18 my friend, and yes, Edward is amazing, but you've let go of absolutely everything else in your life, and you are freaked out about 1 year in age difference. It's so silly....(that's not a movie related topic, but I had to point out how annoyed I was by Bella this time through).

*Definitely need to bring in the back story of the Volturi, which they hadn't even mentioned in Twilight. Does Carlisle talk about Volturi in Twilight...or later in New Moon? I can't remember. Either way, since the movie Twilight hadn't discussed them at all...they have lots of setting up to do prior to the party! Right?

That's really about all I could come up with. What about you??

Out of my routine

2009-08-10T13:02:00.002-05:00

So, as most of you all know, I've been taking little steps to make my lifestyle more "green". There are a TON of things I have not yet done..like cut out meat, or buying brand new furniture (like my brand new dining room table I just bought instead of my dream "recycled" dining room table I wanted to get), or driving to the grocery store that is seriously 1 block away.

However, I think I've done a lot of small things, and I have just realized how much those small things have added up. I made this realization after getting out of my daily routine, and having training all last week in Omaha. To see the waste that I eliminate from my life still happening just drove me INSANE.

For example, I recycle absolutely EVERYTHING I can...cardboard, glass, aluminum cans, plastic bottles, beer bottles, yogurt cups, you get the picture. This week at training, they provided us with water and juices to be poured into little plastic cups. By the end of Monday, I was ready to write names on each persons cup because each time they got a new glass when they needed/wanted more water. WTF!

Example #2...the Omaha building has just recently started a recycling program. They have one can for trash and one can for recycling in EVERY room. Which I think is awesome. The negative thing about that...if you don't work in that building, you completely and totally ignore the signs on those trash cans saying "For Recycling Only" and "For Trash Only", each with a list of items that should be placed in each can. Therefore, it ended up being we had 2 separate trash cans. The participants threw everythign away...even aluminum cans. HELLO, those can be recycled.

Finally, example #3...the person I drove with everyday would come to the car everyday with a nice 42oz. fountain drink he had gotten from the gas station. So, I asked him...do you get a new cup every single time you get a soda...and he said "yes". WTF. I said he should use the same cup over and over because A) It saves you money (granted, only like 10 cents, but over time, that adds up), and B) it eliminates waste! He says "Well, they are recyclable cups". To which I say "do you actually recycle them, or do you throw them away". Guess which he does...Yep, he throws them away...EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Now, I know I'm not perfect, like I admitted to above. I still buy clothing made out of regularly grown cotton, I still have my plastic food storage containers (mainly because I cannot find a good glass set anywhere...any suggestions?!), and I still use perfume that is full of phalates and every other nasty chemical out there...and and I'm still using some chemically filled lotions, because I can't find a good lotion recipe, although I have finally found a place to find cheap essential oils. So yes, I'm not perfect...but after this week, I'm feeling much much better for what I have changed. Now, if I could just get myself to stop using all the energy by using a treadmill!

Redecorating

2009-07-20T13:39:00.016-05:00

Since Adam and I have decided to stay another year in our pretty small apartment (much bigger than our last one, but still, not the space I would like to have...especially in the kitchen..and it's only 1 bedroom), I have made it my personal mission to turn our living space into a home, rather than a slopped together college apartment. Which is exactly what it feels like to me.

We decided our first step would be to ask my wonderful mother if she could store in her basement some of the furniture we knew we wanted in the future (i.e. my rocking horse my dad made me when I was younger, and my desk...which we don't use at all right now, it just takes up space). She graciously said YES, and so this past weekend we took those things down...which opened up the space that is our "dining nook".

Next step...Dining Room Table. We ended up getting this table from Slumberland Yesterday!

I'm pretty excited to get the table, and see if that makes our place look a bit nicer.

Today we went to Pier One to look at table runners and other items that we think we might use to update our home. I fell IN LOVE with these curtains!

However, I also very much Like these curtains!

However, I think I like the first set better...only because I definitely NEED color in my living room. That's what I'm thinking of updating. All my furniture is brown...I need COLOR people! So, yea, I love the first set of curtains and am seriously considering buying them. However, we went to Pier 1 to find table runner, or placemats, or a centerpiece for the able or something. Here are some of the things I found that could or could not work. First, we need to get our table in there and go from there.

Well...anyway, you get the idea. What do you guys think of where I'm going? Still too dark you think?

Jon and Kate

2009-06-24T15:12:00.003-05:00

I don't watch this show, mainly because I don't have cable. I have watched the show in the past, and those kids are freaking adorable. Of course, I think most children are pretty adorable when all you see is 10mins. of each of their day! :)

Anyway, I have been following the gossip mill on the state of Jon and Kate's marriage. It made me sad when I first heard about it, and I was hoping, although this would have been awful, that it was all a ploy to get more viewers for their show. Apparently, unfortunately, that is not the case. Apparently, they have filed for divorce, after 10 years of marriage.

Now, I know I've only been married for not even 1 year yet, and we do not have any children, let alone 8 of them...but I'm really really upset about this story. At first I was getting really mad at people who were blaming Jon only, saying he was whoring around with women and yadda yadda. I've got to admit, I dont' necessarily blame him...I mean, one episode I did watch, Kate yelled at him for breathing too loudly. She's sort of a controlling bitch. BUT, at the same time...he doesn't seem to be fighting to find that spark with his wife anymore. And for that, I don't like him.

However, KATE is driving me absolutely crazy. All her bullshit talk about "everything I do is for my kids" and "The show had nothing to do with our demise", and the bullshit of "the show will continue with both of us involved with the children". SERIOUSLY? How can you possibly continue to put not only your children through this, for when they watch it 10 years down the road when they are goign through therapy...but to yourselves?

Maybe they are right, maybe the show had no bearing on the demise of their marriage. I'm sure raising 8 kids, quitting your jobs, and making your "career" now "capitalizing" on the cuteness of your children. I find something very sickening about this divorce. The sickening part is that because neither Kate nor Jon are employed anywhere (though when the show first started, Jon was employed full-time while Kate stayed home with the children...like a normal family I think would do with 8 children), basically their divorce will be an argument on the assets they now have, that have been made BY THEIR CHILDREN! Right? There is definitely something wrong with that!

Also, I'm so annoyed with Kate running around talking to anyone and everyone about the heartbreak of her failure. What a freaking b**ch. I mean seriously, even if Jon has moved on to someone else, and even if he hates Kate, I'm sure he's not extremely happy. I personally don't think anyone can walk away from a divorce without having some sort of pain and hurt, and feeling like a failure. I'm so freaking annoyed with Kate for saying she's sick of the paparazzi following her around and being all over the place all the time, and putting her picture on celebrity magazines and yadda yaddda...but than she goes and gives an interview to People Magazine? WTF

I respect Jon a bit for trying to stay out of the limelight...though I'm sure he'll shop his story around soon enough. I guess the sad thing about it all, is that here I am writing about how the whole thing makes me sick, and sad and what not...but I'm still looking it up. So, shame on you Jon and Kate...and shame on all of us for caring so much and continuing on the frenzy of the media attention.

I wish those children the best, and I hope, for the sake of them, Jon and Kate can figure something out that makes their lives a bit more normal. Not having both their parents at home is not what's gonna put them through therapy later in their lives...its their faces being thrown all over the media.

Why oh Why?

2009-05-19T16:13:00.002-05:00

It's been a pretty crappy two days in my household. And I'm just wondering...why? Why does life work out so well for everyone else (or at least it seems to)? Why does every other person get a bone thrown to them, while we fight and fight and fight? Why can't we just start moving on with our lives?

List of shitty things that happened in the past 2 days (yes, I know, it's only Tuesday!)

1) Yesterday I was informed that I have early stage melanoma on my abdomen. This isn't too much of a concern...or so my doctor says. He says it's VERY VERY early development. Nevertheless, I have an appointment to get the remainder of the area "dug out" surgically for next Tuesday. That should be the end of it, but now I have to much more careful around sun. Meaning, I'll be fair skinned all year round. Yuck!

2) Yesterday I finally convinced my husband to contact the high school he interviewed at a couple weeks ago. We were both fairly confident he had a GREAT chance at getting this job for several reason. a) he student taught there 1 year ago, b) he has one semester of real teaching experience in Hastings (subbing for someone who was in Iraq), c) he is fairly close with the director at that high school, as well as the department chair, and d) he's been requested by that entire department for subbing continuously this entire semester.

Well, he got ahold of Human Resources yesterday, and they told him to "expect a letter in the mail", which means he did not get the job. We were both really bummed, but thought maybe they hired the person who had 5 years experience instead. Well, just found out today...that a student teacher at another high school in town, meaning he just graduated last weekend, got the job instead. WTF?

3) I found out today that I did not receive an interview for an Officer position in Probation. This would be alright under normal circumstances...however, I also found out that 3 people who are my exact same position either in Pretrial or Probation DID get interviews. All of us have Masters Degrees, 3 of us have been here the same amount of time, we've all been through the system the same process...first Techs and now Assistants. I just don't get it. What the heck do I have to do to move up around here.

Why oh Why? Why can't we catch a break? We were really really hoping for Adam to get a full-time teaching job this next school year so we could buy a house and partake in this $8,000 tax benefit for 1st time buyers. We were really hoping to firmly place our roots down in Lincoln, Nebraska. Now...Now I don't know what the hell the future brings. Are these all signs that we are destined to be away from here? Seriously, what the heck are we doing wrong?

In good happy news....Oh wait, I can't find any right now.

Nice Take

2009-04-24T09:34:00.001-05:00

I read this today on Perez Hilton. I know, it's a gossip columnist, probably not the most reputable news source, but I still really liked this one particular entry. Makes some great points, and it's definitely something I believe in.

It's Earth Day!!!

2009-04-22T08:11:00.003-05:00

Happy Earth Day everyone! I wanted to write today to encourage everyone to do something earth friendly today. It can be something simple like recycling that plastic bottle of soda you bought from the gas station this morning for a leg up.

How about purchasing a refillable cup for the gas station so that you don't have to ever buy a plastic bottle of soda again?

Or, go to reusablebags.com and purchase a set of reusable shopping bags (this will continue past today, and make you look so fashionable). And, while you are there, purchase a reusable water bottle. I just did this yesterday...after much debate over which bags, and which bottles to buy. I can't wait to get them!!

Or, plant an organic garden full of your favorite vegetables (i.e. tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, whatever), and/or herbs so that in the future you don't have to purchase these items from the store. Plus, they will taste that much better too.

Teach your children about the importance of being friendly to our planet so that their children can be happy and healthy on this planet.

Go to the Library and find a book and how to be more eco-friendly to push Earth Day into Earth Lifestyle. A couple of my favorites that I first checked out from the library and now have in my own personal library (I'm obsessed really, and have a really bad memory so I need the books for constant reference look up) are Gorgeously Green by Sophie Uliano (this is printed on recycled paper!!) and Easy Green Living by Renee Loux.

I guess the main thing to remember today is that every little thing counts. So, when you plan a trip to the grocery store, make a list to eliminate a second trip back to the store when you realize you forgot cheese. Think twice about pitching that plastic bottle or aluminum can into a normal trash can, and instead look up where you can recycle it. When purchasing items at the grocery store look for post consumer made products, which are in turn recyclable. Just do something...anything...EVERY SINGLE SMALL THING HELPS!

Happy Earth Day! :)

Pro-choice, what does it really mean

2009-04-20T13:28:00.002-05:00

I first read about Sarah Palin talking at a pro-life (which I choose to call anti-choice) fundraiser from Liberal Mom, a blog I follow. I loved the way she said the fact that Sarah Palin even had the option to make a choice for having her child was what the abortion argument SHOULD be. It's so true.

I just read another great article with the exact same theory as to Sarah Palin actually being pro-choice, just from what her statements were. This article has the ENTIRE quote listed in it, and I think it's pretty hard to say you aren't pro-choice after saying those things you said.

I think sometimes we all get so caught up in the "killing" of a "life" that we forget that the argument is only about a CHOICE. The fact that Sarah Palin, or her daughter, or any other women in this world has the CHOICE to carry to term, to give up a child for adoption, to raise that child on their own, or whatever is what Roe v. Wade was/is all about. Liberal Mom says that many women who do have abortions struggle with that choice, and in the ideal world, they would all carry to term and raise their own children. The reality is, however, that life is never ideal...especially for a young teenage girl who has dreams of being a lawyer, or doctor, or any other profession where you need at least 10yrs. of schooling, and tons of money to succeed.

I loved how Liberal Mom says people can be pro-choice and anti-abortion. I think that's a very good thing to put out there...most women are not ecstatic about making this decision. But, isn't it better that we as a country support her to make her own decision, and if she chooses not to have that child, to provide her with a clean and legal opportunity to have that abortion? Because, let's face it, abortions were around before they were legal. They were done in alleys, and done by someone who may have never stepped foot into a Medical course.

Sarah Palin made a choice, and for pro-lifers, it was the right choice, and for her it was the right choice. She was lucky she had the chance to choose.

Easter Mass

2009-04-12T18:08:00.004-05:00

Adam and I went to Easter mass this morning. It's the first time we've been to church since last summer probably. Maybe longer? Anyway, it's been bugging me for some time that we don't belong to a church...and today was the day we started looking for a church...again!

Funny thing is, every time we decide to start looking for a church again, we go to the exact same church. I love this church, I really really do...but I don't think I can commit to it until I check out a few more churches around town. Next week we will try another one...I swear!

Anywho...the reason I love this church is because it's totally involved with the community. I have always enjoyed the Pastors sermons, because he constantly brings it back to how Jesus wanted us to stop being selfish, and to help others...regardless of their race, sex, age, and he has gone so far as to even say regardless of sexual orientation. It's one of the only churches I know in Lincoln (granted, I dont' know much about churches in Lincoln) who actively supports through brochures and talks the Nebraska Aids Project. I love this church because I don't feel like their "helping the community" is a farce...like I feel many church organizations do. This Pastor truly believes that this world was created to simply LOVE one another...without any fear.

That's basically what his sermon was today. It was about Jesus dying for our sins, because he expects us to sin...because it's impossible to be perfect...IMPOSSIBLE. He said that Jesus was "finished dying, but not finished living". Jesus died for us, so that we can make earth "as it is in heaven". He believed, and dreamed of, a world here on earth...that was loving, and forgiving, and embracing of each other...which included our sins. His sermon was uplifting, and put a bit of faith in my life once again. Jesus died for me, and for all the sinning I have done in this world...not because that was his duty in life...but because he wanted me to show forgiveness in living my life, and to LOVE everyone around me, regardless of who or what they are.

With Spring comes new birth...thus Easter, and the Rising of Jesus Christ. It's beautiful when you are taken back to what the season is truly for, because too often in life we celebrate without meaning...but with only routine. Easter is about FORGIVENESS and LOVE. And not just on this day, but everyday of our lives. Let's not forget that there are so many things that are out of our hands in this world (war, starvation, recessions, etc), but that still there are SMALL steps, and SMALL things we can do to show forgiveness to our neighbors, our families, our co-workers, and even our enemies. Today is the day we need to remember that Jesus died, and rose for us so that we can make a kingdom for him here on earth. It's up to all of us to try to make that a reality.

So...what are you waiting for. Go out and forgive, and love, and change your community...every small thing counts!

Peace and Love

Another bit of happy new!

2009-04-07T13:58:00.001-05:00

D.C. Council Votes to Recognize Gay Marriages.

YEA for Iowa!!!

2009-04-03T09:16:00.001-05:00

Probably one of the last places I would think this would happen. BUT, I could not be happier, especially since its the state just to the east of me, just one hour drive!!!

The Iowa Supreme Court has just ruled that gay marriage IS legal in the state.

It takes small steps, and someday, all these small steps will make the giant leap toward equality! I cant' wait to see it happen!

Washington D.C. Day #4

2009-03-29T09:37:00.002-05:00

Today was the dreaded 8 mile run for our marathon training. After walking around the last few days, we really weren't looking forward to running at all...let alone 8 miles. BUT, we did it. And we actually ran a pretty decent pace through the entire run. Krissy was right...running along the Mall really does give you some energy from nowhere. It was fun running into downtown, down the mall, past the Washington Monument, and up to the Lincoln Memorial and back. It was beautiful, and I felt like I belonged here!

After that, we really weren't looking forward to walking at all. In addition, the weather was very foggy and misty rain. However, we pursued. We ate a local sandwich place which Olivia says Kirssy is their window girl most days...apparently she studies there often. :) It was delicious, and much needed energy after our run, and the day of walking ahead.

We headed off to Arlington National Cemetery, where we visited the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and watched the Changing of the Guard. Off to Arlington House, and wandering around the cemetery for a bit (very hill cemetery, definitely recommend doing this early on your visit, because it was painful on day #4). Also went to Kennedy's site...which was moving and beautiful, and sad.

Took Metro to the Pentagon Memorial, which I didn't even know existed. It was interesting, but we weren't really sure what it meant. We were eager to come home and look it up on the internet. Basically there are 184 benches symbolizing the 184 people killed in the attack. Some benches faced toward the pentagon (those people worked there), and others pointed away (those people were in the plane). The benches were also separated by years the people were born...the youngest being 3 years old. So sad!

Than, we were done with walking. We headed home, where we sat and rested our feet. Pretty lame day compared to the others...but we needed a bit of rest. And it was still enjoyable, even if it was a dreary day.

Tomorrow is our last day. I'll post on Monday.

Washington D.C. Day #3

2009-03-28T10:18:00.002-05:00

Today I woke up and did some Yoga. It felt wonderful after 2 days of walking around. Than we were off!

We took the metro to the U.S. Capital, and Adam and I went through the brand new Visitors Center. We left Krissy outside with our bags so we didn't spend much time there...but we did buy a book on its History. It was fascinating going through there. They had models of how the Capital and the area around it has expanded over the years. It started so small, with nothing around it, to what it is today. It was fascinating. They also had some documents on display that are important parts of history...such as the appropriation bill that provided money for expansion into the west...a whole $2,500! That's crazy compared to today's money isn't it. Anyway, much much more there...I will make a longer post on that later.

We than went across the street to the U.S. Supreme Court. I LOVED it. I am completely and totally obsessed with law...and I nearly bought a book of ALL the important Supreme Court decisions. What a nerd am I. It was fun though, saw the actual court room...where such decisions as Roe V. Wade and Ramdan v. Rumsfield have been decided, and argued. How crazy!!!

Than we went to the U.S. Botanical Gardens. It was beautiful, and we say a lot of plants I want in my house someday. :) It's good to start planning ahead.

Off to lunch at the National Museum of the American Indian. They had indian themed food there, and Krissy treated us. Adam and I both had Indian Tacos. They were good! If we have time yet while we are here...we may go back and actually go through the museum. It' a beautiful building, and Krissy said Mom really liked it when she came.

Than, we started the long afternoon of walking, walking, walking. We walked down the National Mall (where Krissy pointed out over and over how far back people stood for the Inauguration...its amazing to actually walk that and realize the magnitude of Obama's inauguration) to view all the memorials and monuments of importance...which includes:

-Washington Monument (just walked past)
-WW II Memorial (BEAUTIFUL)
-Lincoln Memorial (Large, and reminds you how far we've really come)
-Korean War Memorial (Freedom is Not Free)
-Roosevelt Memorial (Off the Mall to the Left...but this is my all time FAVORITE MEMORIAL, I can't wait to upload pictures and discuss this memorial in more detail)
-Jefferson Memorial (which on the way to, we took a walk around the Tidal Basin, where the Cheery Blossoms are in bloom...it was beautiful, even if a bit cloudy and dreary out).

After the Jefferson Memorial, we walked back towards Lincoln Memorial to walk through the Vietnam Memorial. I just can't even describe this memorial. You hear ALL the time of all the soldiers we lost during the Vietnam War...but walking past that wall, and seeing each and every name written in stone...it really gets to you. It's beautiful, and sad, and you just can't help going through that memorial without shedding at least one tear. It's beautiful.

Than we headed off to walk past the White House one more time, this time Krissy wanted us to walk behind the house. So we did. Well, once we started walking towards us, Police started pushing people back. So, we decided to stick around and see what was going on. Than, we saw security put out a huge X on the White House Lawn. Marine One was coming in!!! We stood around for about 10mins, and than the helicopter came over head. It was pretty amazing to see it fly right over my head. President Obama right above my head in a helicopter. HOW COOL!!! It was awesome, and Krissy took a video, and Adam took tons of pics...so I'll post about that much more later as well.

Than off to a Brewing Co. for dinner. We got there in time for happy hour, so we had cheap appetizers for dinner, and a couple beers. Walked to Chinatown afterwards, hoped on the Metro and came home. Played Quiddler, and crashed.

I hope my legs can hold up for day #4...we're not yet sure what we'll do. But I definitely want to see Arlington Cemetary before we leave...so probably that. I'll keep you posted!

Washington D.C. Day #2

2009-03-28T10:11:00.002-05:00

I forgot to update this on the end of day 2, so hopefully I can remember it all. I will go into much more detail once I get pictures uploaded for further description.

We woke up and took about a 30min run in the rain, we were supposed to do 50mins, but it was cold and rainy, and we were both just very sore...so we headed back home. Because of the rain, we spent the day going to different museums.

First up...American History Museum. There we saw such things as Dorothy's ruby slippers, Kermit the Frog, Julia Child's Kitchen, and an exhibit all about Science. It was fun. We ate in the cafeteria there, our packed Pizza and bananas. YUM

We then headed next door to the Natural History Museum. We only went through one exhibit there...bones! It was awesome. It was all about how bones can tell us a lot about people, and civilizations thousands of years after they have passed. It was fun. We'll have to return here in the next couple days to see the rest of the exhibits...like the ocean, the Hope diamond, and other stuff.

Krissy then went to class, and Adam and I went to the Holocaust Museum, where we spent the next 2 hours. It's a very moving, touching, unbelievable Museum, I think everyone should go at one point in their lives. Yes, it is sad..but I think it's very important for us to remember the history, and how we may have acted in the wrong way...so that maybe we can prevent such tragedies from happening in the future.

We met Krissy in the Metro after that, and headed to Union Station for dinner. Nothing too amazing, we went to this place called "America". We had wine, and various "American" dishes. It was good.

Following that, I went and FINALLY purchased some Paraban free makeup. I really like it. It was sort of expensive...but, I think its worth the sacrifice. Now, I just have to figure out how to buy this make up in Nebraska!?

Day 3 is full of things to come....keep checking back!

DC Day #1

2009-03-25T21:40:00.002-05:00

Today was the first full day in Washington DC. Since I did not bring the cable to upload my pictures from my camera...you'll have to survive with just a narrative of the day for now.

We got out of the house around 9:00 this morning. Olivia drove us to the Spy Museum. We were all hungry, so decided to eat at the Spy Museum Cafe. It was delicious. Than we spent the next 3 hours or so in the Spy Museum, which included the interactive Spy Experience. We were agents in Khandar. It was fun.

Than, went across the street to the Portrait Museum. It was interesting. TONS of Lincoln pictures...this town LOVES Abraham Lincoln. We spent most of our time there in the Presidents display. It was pretty cool seeing all those pictures there...I enjoyed it!

Than went and got a bite to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe (with a quick stop by Ford's Theatre). Than walked all the way to George Washington University.

On our trek to GWU, we made a pit stop at the old Post Office, and took an elevator up 12 floors to see out over Washington DC. It was beautiful....nice view.

Also on our trek, we made a stop at the White House, and took the obligatory pictures, and stood around waiting patiently to see President Obama...no such luck. Maybe tomorrow!

Adam and I took a shuttle to the Kennedy Center, where we watched a free show. It was nice, and a good change of pace...and actually nice to sit down finally. We than went back to GWU, and made a walk to Georgetown.

We had hoped to go to a Blues/Jazz club we'd heard a lot of cool things about, unfortunately, we decided we liked our money too much. It was a $25 admission per person, $10minimum purchase per person, plus a $2.50 surcharge per person. Needless to say, we opted out...and went around the corner and had a couple beers while waiting for Krissy to get out of class.

Took a metro trip, went to a full fledged Grocery Store in DC (which I found very exciting for some reason), walked many a block to get a Taxi, than finally came home. Adam is now icing his knee, I'm elevating my feet hoping to be able to run tomorrow...and we're planning another day in DC. We'll keep you posted.

Sincerely,
Killhams in DC

WTF

2009-03-19T14:35:00.002-05:00

I usually support the government getting money from money hungry jerk offs who make way too much money than they could ever spend in the first place.

However...

I am really really annoyed that the House has just passed a bill to tax anyone who receives bonuses over $250,000 for 2009. It's a retroactive law, and I think it's bullcrap, unconstitutional, and just silly. What the hell did you think those big wigs were gonna do with the bail out money?

Let me just remind you, I also wasn't a fan of the original bail out bill. I think it's silly to interfere with private companies...especially those banks who i think knew VERY WELL exactly what they were doing. They knew the risks...they should pay. The TARP bail out hasn't helped a single compnay...but has helped many a individual to become richer.

And, if you think about it...it's stupid to tax 90% of the bonuses...the bank was already indebted to pay back that money to the government...so what was the point of the new bill.

I really hope it doesn't pass the Senate. I think it's silly, and I think we're spending too much time arguing about this bail out money than moving on to things that need to be taken care of.

That's my two cents.

Lots of thoughts...

2009-03-18T15:17:00.002-05:00

...are running through my head lately. Some of the most important are as follows:

* I am sick and tired of running, but determined to follow through with the half marathon. Maybe my motivation will make an uphill turn once I pay the entrance fee this Friday (pay-day!). Money is a great motivator for anything.

* I am ready for Adam to secure a job, and everyday that passes without an interview or job offer, I'm freaking out. We've pretty much planned the next 5 years of our lives based on the fact he can/will get a job here in Lincoln. I shouldn't be freaking out this early in the job opening season...but I can't help it, it's in my nature. So, any good vibes you guys can send his way for a job this next school year would be greatly appreciated!

* I'm tired of being called a socialist because I supported Barack Obama during the election season. Yes, I like a lot of his ideas, and yes, maybe some of those ideas involve the government a bit more than some people are comfortable with...but does that mean I believe in the ideal socialist government...Nope. There is so much crap going on right now, and I'm tried of being attacked, and told how I feel about all this crap. If you don't care enough about my opinions to ask me about them...than you clearly don't know enough about me to consider me a socialist! It's funny how that word has become such a negative word in today's society. Huh

* I'm stressing with work training, but very excited to be able to put it on future resumes. It should work out well in my future...when I finally decide what I want to do with my life. Which leads into...

* I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I do know I'm extremely happy where I am, and I really enjoy the work I do. I'd be happy here for a long time. However, I do know at some point, I'm going to need to get out of my comfort zone, and strive for more than what I am here!

* Adam and I have talked a lot about having babies. I've also talked a lot to co-workers (both male and female) about pros and cons of having a family. I'm torn. One of the main reasons I am torn is because I know myself enough to know I would not be able to give up my job if/when we have kids. However, I also know myself enough to know I would feel extremely guilty sending my child off to a daycare so that I could continue on with my career. That seems like I would be a bit too selfish...and isn't the point of having children that you are ready to no longer be selfish? So...I'm really torn. I guess time will tell.

* Going to D.C. to visit Krissy next week. Looking forward to it in so many ways. I'm excited to see her life there, and honestly, to look around the area and see if its something I'd be interested in joining (the D.C. life that is). I've thought about moving to DC for some time...and honestly, if Adam does not get a job (see prior thoughts), I think I may start applying for jobs away from good 'ol Nebraska. We shall see... In the meantime, we're gonna tourist the hell out of Washington D.C., and take our happy little gnome with us and document it all. Pictures to come! :)

I think that about sums up my life lately. Same old I suppose.

Training

2009-03-02T12:55:00.002-06:00

Adam and I have been training for running a Half Marathon (13.1miles) in Lincoln on May 3rd. We're following a training program we pulled from an amazing books called "Marathoning for Mortals". We love the book because one of the authors calls himself "the penguin", meaning he's not the fastest dude in the world. And, I really like that.

Anywho, we've been gradually increasing our distances and our days of working out for some time now. I think we started hard core tracking our progress in November, while he was still in Lincoln. The run half marathon training program is 14weeks I believe, and we have 9 weeks of training left before the marathon. YIKES.

Our schedule consists of 3days running (2 days it is timed running, and Saturdays is our "distance" running day". Last week we started with our timed runs of 40mins. on Monday and Thursday, and did 3 miles on Saturday. Week before that we were running 30mins Monday and Thursday, but had to run 5 miles on Saturday (and amazingly...we both made it the full 5 miles!). Our times and distances will continue to increase. This week we are still at timed running of 40mins for 2 days...and Saturday we've got 6miles! YIKES! The week we'll be in D.C. I believe we are up to 60mins. running two days...and a whopping 8 miles! HOLY COW!!

Anyway...my point of this post is to describe my struggles. Before I actually started "following" a program, I kind of just went to the gym and ran what I thought I needed to. On 2 occasions, I actually ran 6.5miles with NO PROBLEM. However, this past Saturday, I didn't think I'd make it the 3 miles we had to do. What is going on with me?

I need some motivation. Musical? Perhaps. Maybe I could actually start losing weight...or toning up...that would help me be more motivated...right? Yea, I wish that was happening. Basically, I'm putting on muscle, so I'm not losing weight. Which is definitely not a priority of mine...but it's frustrating in a way. I eat ALL THE TIME. We have pasta twice a week at least just because it's so delicious. On my days off of training, I'm so used to drinking so much water for my long bouts of running....that on my days off I'm running to the bathroom every 10mins because I haven't/won't be sweating that day. It's frustrating.

I can't back out of the training now...i'm too far in, and too many people know we are planning on doing this. We're too far! So...I need some help. Someone please tell me how I'm supposed to remain so motivated on working out 3times a week (3days running, 2 days of cross training) when I'm sick to death of the music on my ipod, my body isn't changing shape at all, and my feet are horribly ugly due to blisters. SOMEONE HELP!

Interesting

2009-02-02T09:41:00.001-06:00

My sister sent me this blog for my pleasure. I LOVE IT. Well spoken, and I agree with it!

I was especially interested in this post. Freaking Republican Men...I just don't get it!

The 44th President of the UNITED States

2009-01-20T13:06:00.001-06:00

I was lucky enough to have the inauguration on the tv in our breakroom (bunny ears and all...thank goodness it wasn't after Feb. whatever it is). I watched President Obama's Inaugural Speech...and it moved me. It's something I wish to always remember, and I think if you missed it. Than...go read it here.

Good Luck to the new Administration. You are definitely going to need it with all you have to work through. And please, please, remember...everyone deserves your respect, so stop with all the hateful words being said by a man who has only been the President for 2 hours!

Heart full of sadness

2009-01-15T14:55:00.002-06:00

Let me preface this post by saying I'm more than likely going to go off on a huge tangent, that won't make sense much at all. I'm not as concise a writer as Liz and Mom are, but gosh darnit, I have feelings and I need to get them out there.

Today a co-worker told me he was moving. He was moving to my other coworkers neighborhood...down South. Now, here's the situation with me saying "down south". Here in wonderful, beautiful, homey Lincoln there seem to be two separate towns. The North, and the South. In recent years (and I honestly cannot pinpoint exactly when this trend started happening, I've only been here 8 years) there has been a HUGE development of neighborhoods, shopping marts, car dealerships, etc., etc., down south. Apparently (from what I've been told anyway), down south is safer, for the rich, and the "it" place to be because it is safer and for the rich. Whatever, that's fine. You should have the right to live wherever you want, and I have no right to judge.

HOWEVER, if you can look me in the eye and say that you are moving south for this one specific reason (which was stated to me today by my coworker), than I have every right in the world to judge you. My coworker actually said of the reasons his family will be moving "down south" is because of "better schools". Hmmmm, how is that really, if ALL of Lincoln (minus the few private schools that are around) is under ONE school system...LPS. It's ONE Public School System, with the same curriculum, the same policies, the same goals, the same tests (which, might I add, is the same test as every school in this country that receives federal funding), the same pool of money in which to draw from. How, might I ask, is a school "down south" a "better" school for your children if all these criteria are in fact...truth?

The truth of the matter is this. There is definitely a division between North Lincoln and South Lincoln. The buildings are different: North Lincoln is definitely older, its the original Lincoln after all, whereas South Lincoln is all flashy, and bricky (it's my best explanation, everything is made in Brick, Seriously), the residential houses are beautiful and large, and every little girls dream to someday have. But, also, sadly, there is a difference between North and South Lincoln in demographics, household income, and crime rates (for now at least). North Lincoln has been forgotten it seems. People (like my coworker) up and move to the newer, flashier, more beautiful life of South Lincoln because it is exactly that...Beautiful. But what happens to North Lincoln when you leave?

The trend as been, unfortunately, crime. Yes, there are certain areas in North Lincoln that have homes that you can just tell a drugie lives there. Yes, there are areas in North Lincoln where you might be afraid to walk alone at night. Yes, I will agree wholeheartedly in all these things. But it makes me so very very sad.

People apparently move to South Lincoln to fulfill some sort of fantasy (that's my opinion of course). Their kids will be safer, their kids will live in a homey/lovey neighborhood where they can walk back and forth between houses at night with no fear. I understand the allure, and I'd be lying if I didn't say there are times living in North Lincoln I am afraid. But...I can't help but be completely saddened by the trend of everyone picking up their lives in North Lincoln...and living it to shambles for the brightness of South Lincoln.

My coworker said to me: "It's not so much the school is bad, Theresa, it's that the PEOPLE who go there make it a not good school". What does that mean? If you are like me, you might think that's a fairly racist comment. IF you are not like me...please, tell me what that means?

I looked at my coworker and said: "But it's never going to get better if good families like you keep moving away".

He said: "That might be true, but I don't want to be the family that makes that change, I want my kids to be safe".

No, I don't blame him. I totally agree with him. I want my kids (in the very far future) to be safe as well. Heck, I want ME to be safe. I want my husband who will one day (god willing) be working at one of these high schools to be safe. But even more than that, I want every child who goes to every school in this town to be SAFE. I'm an equal opportunity kind of person I guess.

IF he doesn't want to be the one to help make the change, who will? I know this sounds cliche, but seriously. Who will?

I've said this in posts before: Sometimes, all a neighborhood needs, all a struggling family needs, all a young child who may be going down the wrong path in life...into criminality needs is Hope, and Love, and knowing that there are people all around them who care about them, and want nothing more than for them to succeed.

If we stay in Lincoln, I want to be in North Lincoln. I don't want to abandon these historic neighborhoods, that yes, at the moment have lost their appeal, and brightness. But, I guess what I'm saying is that I WANT to be one of the people that starts to make that CHANGE in those neighborhoods happen.

Why do these neighborhoods fall apart? My theory, which is actually supported by TONS of research, but I will cite MYSELF in this blog. The run down neighborhoods of Lincoln (and all over the United States I would venture) are this way because the families have no time to keep up the facade of it all. Kids are getting into trouble in these rundown neighborhoods because their parents are working 2, 3, maybe even 4 jobs to attempt to KEEP a roof over their kids heads. With the parents away...mice will play.

I'm saddened by all of this because it's not fair. This is freaking AMERICA people. This is where we are supposed to be the most caring, the most loving, the brightest in all the land...and all we do is pack up our shit...and move to a newer, shinier place rather than stay behind and fix our messes....and Yes, maybe their aren't necessarily our individual messes, but aren't we as a people all in this life, this world, together? Aren't we? And if we aren't...don't you think it's about time that we start to be?

PMS

2009-01-15T10:51:00.003-06:00

I was skimming all the blogs that make me laugh just now and I ran across Happy Meals post of the day. It's all about PMS, and it's hilarious, and I think you should all read it. I'll wait....

...Ok, now that you've read it, I have to agree with her whole-heartedly. EVERY month I tell myself I'm not going to fall victim to my cravings, which include, but are not limited to:
-Chocolate (Duh!)
-Spice Drops (the little ones, not the big ones...they do taste different)
-Licorice, or better yet, Twizzler Nibs
-Pizza (wait, that's always a craving)
-Nachos at Oso Burrito
-Nachos at Heidelburg's
-Homemade Nachos
-Any kind of nachos
-McDonalds, cheeseburgers specifically
-Have I mentioned Nachos at all! With spicy salsa to be specific.
-Amigos Southwest Chicken Wrap (perhaps the healthiest thing on my evil list)
-Bread...any kind of bread, but lots of it.

Ok, so you get the picture. EVERY month I say I'm not going to fall victim. That I will remain strong, and I will not justify away a week of my good eating habits, and good exercising habits, and the like for PMS. But, alas, EVERY month I bow to its evilness and eat it all, and tell myself while I'm in hell, I might as well skip the workouts as well. Seriously, I eat it all.

I tell myself...Screw It, I've been working out so well, I've been eating proportions, I haven't been drinking much brew, and I'm crabby damnit...I DESERVE, I NEED, I MUST HAVE these treats Or I will more than likely be getting a divorce.

What is wrong with me?? I'm obviously crazy! Maybe I too should sign up for the PMS notification system...give myself a bit more warning.

My problem with Dexter

2009-01-12T15:19:00.005-06:00

Dexter...

Is a Showtime series, about a forensics specialist in Miami, who murders "bad people" on the side. My mom watches it, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law watch it, and my sister Liz and her husband are also now watching it. Liz raved about it when Adam and I were over on Saturday, and loaned us the DVD's to season 1.

Adam watched ONE episode a few months back with Mom and Bob, and said he enjoyed it. So, I decided to give it a shot...even though in my gut I was thinking "its a show about murder...not only a sinful act, but an unlawful one".

So, we started the first episode. It is the CREEPIEST show I've seen in a long time. I became nauseous watching it. The first episode shows us that when he was younger, he killed and buried the family dog, and his foster dad talks to him about it...and asks if he'd ever wanted to "kill anything bigger", and the kid says "yes, but I thought you and Mom would get mad at me". WTF!

EDITOR'S NOTE: I had much more description of the episode in this blog, but after I read it through again...I didn't want it out there. The above one paragraph is bad enough.

I finally convinced Adam I had to turn it off...I was going to be sick.

We're not watching that show ever again. People I know who are watching it say it's ok, because he is "killing for good". My question for them is: Why are we justifying any sort of killing?

I do not agree with the death penalty. Mainly because I don't think you can ever be 100% sure someone actually DID commit that crime. But I also don't agree with the death penalty because I don't agree with murder, and cruel punishment. I just don't think we should treat humans that way.

So...that's my problem with Dexter. Whatever, maybe he is killing people who do bad things. But to actually make a show about it, and to have normal American families become addicted to this show really disturbs me. Why do we need to watch this? Why do we let networks produce this disgusting imagery for our children to one day run across? I don't care how you justify his actions, even if his actions are justified (even if he is 100% certain the people he kills are Guilty)...it's not ok for us to oogle over it. It's not ok for us to take pleasure in watching this disgusting, violent media.

And that...is my two cents.

Further Green Living

2009-01-11T09:08:00.002-06:00

I got rid of the "living green" book (it was due at the library) and am sort of glad I didn't finish the whole book. I think I learned enough to know, I should make more of an effort to buy naturally made products over commercially produced products. This will help my body get rid of the chemicals it already has, and I'm thinking it'll just make me feel better as well.

Yesterday Adam and I ventured to another natural foods market in Lincoln, Open Harvest. It was much smaller than the other place, and clearly the natural foods store all the rich southerners of Lincoln frequent. They were all there, judging us...which made the experience fairly unenjoyable.

We purchased recycled/biodegradable garbage bags; Shaving brush and soap for Adam; 100% organic cotton Tampons for me (more info. than you needed I'm sure); and one can of natural soda (which was DELICIOUS might I add...I'm craving one right now).

Last night I dreamed of Natural foods/living. Part of me feels I'm becoming more hippie than I need to...but at the same time, now that I know all the harmful stuff that is put into everyday living items...I can hardly stand to buy that stuff. Now I sound obnoxious.

Well, that's all with my updates on green living. I know each person needs to decide which is best for them. At this point in my life, Adam and I have decided this is right for us (plus, I'm terrified I will never be able to conceive a child with all this shit I put into my body). I encourage everyone to look at what alternatives they could implement into their home (recycled garbage bags are simple; so is naturally made body wash, shampoo, conditioner, dish soap, etc. etc.). We have not yet gotten into organic foods...mainly because it's VERY expensive. WE'll see what the future holds I suppose.

So, good luck to all on reaching a greener/cleaner living!!!

Updates and Ponderings

2009-01-07T10:49:00.002-06:00

Here is what's been going on in my life.

-Went to Utah for Christmas, we were there for 6.5 days. It was beautiful there, and great to spend time with Laure's family in their own comfort zone. Their home is beautiful, the scenery is beautiful, and it was hard to leave, but a necessity. Such is the circle of life.

-I have become OBSESSED with living a greener life. I am reading a book on easy green living. She should have titled it "The chemicals we put into our bodies through soaps, makeups, cleaners, and other everyday products...and how to avoid them". It's been a real eye opener. Adam and I will be making some changes in our daily living (such as buying more organic cotton items, looking at how certain household items are "finished", and using less plastics and non biodegradable items in our everyday living). I will keep you posted once more changes are made. For instance, I'm considering no longer using feminine products...but buying one of these. Kind of gross...but think of what I'm doing for the environment, my body, and my checking account?!

-Adam will be unemployed in 1.5 weeks. It's a good thing (because he will be coming home), but it's a bad thing (we could really use his income). He is set up to be on the LPS Substitute teacher list starting the week after he is done with Hastings. He is also looking at getting a 2nd job elsewhere to supplement his income a bit more. Hopefully he gets a lot of subbing opportunities so he won't have to get a 2nd job...now that he will be home, I want him to myself on weeknights and weekends! :)

-I'm pondering my life...AGAIN. I'm feeling very trapped in my life. Mainly my job. I don't feel fulfilled everyday, and I really just can't imagine having that feeling for the rest of my life. I am looking at getting my PhD (highly unlikely) in Public Administration, or possibly a second Masters Degree in Psychology. But, before I make either of those huge steps in life, I'm making myself become more of a force to be reckoned with at work. I think part of the reason I feel unfulfilled is because I'm such a wallflower. I hide in the background most days. I really need to start asking for more, and doing more...not only to feel fulfilled, but to prove/show that I know what I'm doing, and I can be trusted. So...here I am, again, pondering my life. I don't want to leave my job because I do love it so very much...is this just something I have to get used to. Having good days and bad days? Hmmmm

That's about all there is. Once again, my life is pretty boring. Just reading, working out, counting down days for Adam's return...and of course, watching my network television. Mentalist was AWESOME last night. :)

Green Kitchen

2009-01-02T14:37:00.002-06:00

Adam and I just bought some new cleaning products. I made about a page of notes out of the chapter I read on greening my kitchen, and we went to Akins (a natural food store) and bought some ec0-friendly kitchen/bathroom essentials. We've decided since we want to be more green, we will gradually start replacing our home essentials to be more "eco-friendly" once they run out (i.e. deodarant...scary stuff there; Trash Bags, Carpet Cleaner, Toilet Paper, Napkins, Etc).

Here are the items we bought:
-Seventh Generation All-purpose cleaner
-Seventh Generation Natural Dish Liquid
-Natural Earth Enzymes Drain Opener
-Pure & Basic Cherry Almond Bath&Body Wash

It's not much, but it's a start. I've only read one chapter in my book, but I LOVE it. I checked it out from the library, but I've already convinced Adam to buy it...I'll never be able to remember all of this information.

So...go look for a natural foods/market store in your area, and go eco-friendly. Seriously, this book has scared me to make a difference. The next items on my list are biodegradable garbage bags from Seventh Generation. I also want to get toilet paper from Seventh Generation, but Adam thinks it'll be too rough. I said "don't knock it til you try it". So...we'll see.

And, I leave you with some facts on how much we can save this planet just by using 1 package of biodegradable trash bags from Seventh Generation:
"if every household in America replaced just 20 tall kitchen drawstring trash bags made with virgin plastic with 20 bags made with 65% recycled bags, we would save 39,000 barrels of oil, enough to heat and cool 2,200 US homes for a year, and 720,000 cubic feet of landfill space-thats 1,100 full garbage trucks worth. We'd also have 30 million fewer pounds of air pollution" -pg131

New Years!

2009-01-01T12:59:00.002-06:00

Last year, my new years resolution was basically to be more positive, and to trust my instincts more. It worked out pretty well. Yes, I still take things more seriously than I should sometimes, but who doesn't...right? However, I do take things lightly MUCH MORE OFTEN than I ever have in my life.

So, I decided...why not have the same goal for this year. So, my new years resolution for 2009 are to basically Live for the moment. Yes, i should plan for the future, otherwise I'll be out on the street living someday. But, at the same time, I need to live life. I need to stop holding grudges against people, I need to encourage people to do what THEY think is right for their lives and not encourage them to do what I think is right for their lives. I want to spend 2009 encouraging people, and loving people...for all the good and bad they hold.

Professionally I want to become more assertive and stop letting people walk all over me. Half of my time in my job I'm complaining about people not trusting me with enough work. Well, it's sort of my fault they do that...so I need to be more aggressive (in a friendly Theresa way) and ask for more work, more responsibilities, and ask to learn more...whether I think I have the right to do so or not. Afterall, how do I know if I can do it, if I don't even ask to try!?

Also, I want to become even more environmentally friendly. I do a lot of good things now (energy efficient light bulbs and recycling), but I know there is a lot more I can do...and I'm going to work hard this coming year to greenify my home a bit more (green friendly cleaning for example).

So, there you have it, my New Years Resolutions. What do you have?

Three Cups of Tea

2008-12-10T14:12:00.002-06:00

I just finished the book "Three Cups of Tea". I checked it out from the library 3 weeks ago, and I'll admit, had a bit of trouble getting into the book. But Oh My Goodness (so good I didn't need to use OMG)!!!

If you haven't heard of the book it is about an American Man, Greg Mortenson, who attempted to climb a mountain, K2. That's where the book stars, it's a lot of geographic information, a lot of names that are hard to pronounce and keep straight (and that's why I had some trouble). Anyway, so he fails his attempt, and somehow, on his trek back down, he ends up in a village, Korphe, which he said he'd never even seen on a Pakistani map before. He sees they need a school, and he promise the village leader, Haji Ali, that he, Greg Mortenson, will return to Korphe and build them a school. :)

So, that's where it starts. The story takes us through his fund raising battles back in America. His struggles to build the first school (of course...they need a bridge first). The support he gets from one person in America, Jean Hoerni. His love life, and meeting his wife Tara, and marrying her 6 days later! (Ahhh). It takes us through Pakistan customs, ideals, politics, religions. Everything. All the way to 9/11...which is where it gets REALLY good.

It's a MUST read for everyone. It really made me remember what I've been saying for years...we've abandoned these countries (Afghanistan and Pakistan) to go fight an endless war in Iraq. It's VERY interesting to read opinions of Mr. Mortenson, as well as his Afghan and Pakistani confidants on their opinions...the build up to 9/11, and fall after 9/11.

It's an amazing book. I need these books every once in awhile to remember there is ALWAYS a purpose in life. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own personal life (career, babies, cars, marraige) I forget there are such HUGE things I can do in a world so far away from what I know...for mere pennies. This man builds schools, and water systems, and pays salaries for government employees in Afghanistan, and gives Pakistan and Afghan girls scholarships for education. It's so completely amazing...I wish I had the guts, and the drive this man does.

But, I do not. What I do have, however, in a small amount each month, is expendable income. I encourage all of you, if not read the book (which you MUST do), than go to the website, see what its about. And maybe, this holiday season, we can help donate money to build much needed schools, and waterways, etc. etc. in Afghanistan...and country we must show we have not forgotten.

And, for my family. Be prepared to get 2 calendars from me this year. I've already placed an order with Three Cups of Tea! :)

What are you waiting for. GO READ THE BOOK!!!!

What is wrong with me?

2008-12-08T21:35:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I feel like I have Bipolar disorder. I know I don't. I probably shouldn't even joke about that, becasue I know its a very serious condition for those who do suffer from it. I don't go through such huge swings of chaos and depression like people diagnosed with Bipolar disorder do. But...sometimes, I think, there has got to be something wrong with me.

Is it all women who go through this? I swear, I look at women I pass on the street, women I see at work, women in my family (in-laws and all)...and I can't help but wonder, do they go through this too?

I'm very happy with my life. I love my husband (though, from the fight we had today, he probably thinks I'm filing for divorce tomorrow). I have wonderful family who supports me...most of the time. I have a roof over my head. I job that I absolutely LOVE.. And my entire life ahead of me...full of whatever I make it to be. But...there is always something in the back on my mind. there is always something back there nagging at me.

People look at other people and wish they could be them. I don't think it's just me who does that, in fact, I've been told by some people they wish they could have some parts of my life in their life. In my little family alone...I look at all my sisters, my mom, my nieces and nephews and see all the things I wish I could have been...or could be.

When I look at Krissy I wish I could have been as independent and confident as her. I wish I had enough courage and determination to challenge myself beyond what I ever thought imaginable. I wish I trusted people they way she does. I wish I believed in the good of people, and was so loving and beautiful...and so very strong.

When I look at Laurel, I think a lot of the same things. She moved away to Idaho from the only home she'd ever known (Nebraska) when she was pregnant with their first child. I wish I had the strength and courage to be able to throw all logic aside...and follow my gut, and the gut of my husband (whose gut, I hardly ever trust...but that's for another blog altogether). And ever since she moved...she's been alone. Not alone alone, I mean of course she's made friends, and a family, and she's always had her wonderful husband there with her. That doesn't mean it was easy for her...and sometimes I just think "Holy Shit, I could never do that". I may say some bad things about my family, but I could NEVER leave here...how would I ever survive? She was so strong for leaving, and for staying strong, and building a life she never even dreamed of. Her and Krissy both!

And Liz...with her 5 beautiful angels. When I look at her, of course she's just as strong as my other two sisters. You can't have 5 kids and not be strong. She's been through a lot, and she always pulls through. I wish I could as selfless as her. I'm not a mother, and honestly, I don't think I ever will be...but if I am, I hope to be as selfless as Liz and Laurel are with their children. I've seen Liz give her last piece of gum to her kids...whereas I laugh at them and put it in my own mouth. Horrible Aunt, aren't I? I wish I could be selfless, and loving, and a mother, a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent mother like Liz (to which Laurel is all these things as well).

And my Mom. After all the times I told her I hated her, and pushed her out of my life, and told her to never call me again. She still loves me. Maybe that's where Liz learns the selflessness. I could never forgive someone who said things to me, that I have said to my mom. Again, I have lots to learn to be a mother I think. But more than that...my mom, she taught all of my wonderful sisters to be strong, and courageous, to be determined, and loving, and caring. She taught them all that by being all those things. She taught Laurel and Liz to be mothers, and Krissy to be an intellecutal tree hugger. I wish I could love someone half as much as she clearly loves us.

Life is hard. Really f-ing hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a shadow, and that all my sisters got all the great qualities, and here I am...struggling to find my way to the top. Yea, from the outside I have it all...a great career, a great husband, a nice car, my dream dog....but there is so much more I crave. I know my sisters would argue there are things they strive for...but if they could just see how I see them...they'd understand that they are all everything I wish I could be in myself. Strong, compassionate, loving, caring, determined, courageous...the list can go on and on. I'm just a shadow on the wall most times, a shadow that tries so desperately to fit into one of their shells.

What the hell is wong with me?

Consumerism

2008-12-05T10:02:00.002-06:00

We should just rename Christmas to Consumerism. Seriously, I haven't seen a single freaking ad or article about the "spirit" of Christmas, or the reason of Christmas to be celebrated (which, for those who have forgotten, is the birth of Jesus Christ). I've decided to rename is Consumerism, yep, Consumerism occurs on December 25th, and it's a federal holiday, so I get the day off from work. Yipee!

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE getting presents. I love not having to spend that money on myself. But, let's face it, I'm pretty self-indulgent in my life, and therefore, MOST things I absolutely must have in my life, I buy it for myself. Therefore, when it comes to Consumerism (aka Christmas) I don't have anything for my "wish list". So, I usually end up getting generic items (which I absolutely love, don't get me wrong, but, they aren't necessities).

Also, i LOVE giving presents. I love walking into a store and seeing the perfect gift for someone special in my life. Usually it's something they've mentioned only in passing (i.e. "I would love to be able to listen to my ipod all the time"...which ended in me buying Krissy (with mom and Bob) an ipod docking radio). However, most Conumerisms (aka Christmases), I swear off buying presents...because a) I don't have much money to spend on what I really want to get people, and b) I just want to share the holidays with my family...with all the fighting, crying, and hugs that entails.

Every year I struggle with Consumerism (aka Christmas). I struggle with what to get everyone on my list. I struggle with whether I should just say screw it, and not give presents at all. I struggle with the gifts I do pick not being enough, or being too much. I struggle with the fact that I'm so concerned about what I"m getting everyone else...I rarely have enough money to buy my wonderful husband a gift. It's a constant struggle, and I'm just so tired of it.

I know I'll say "No, I'm not doing presents this year", and than December 20th I'll be out shopping last minute for everyone...regretting every single dollar I spend. I know when it comes down to it, I'll be happy I spent that money, and find joy in others joys of what I purchased for them. But...no matter how happy giving and getting gifts makes me...I still have that little bit of me that wishes Consumerism (aka Christmas) could be what it should be about.

It should be about Family spending time together...eating, drinking, being merry. It should be about helping each other pick up the pieces of their lives, and donating our time in helping others. It should be about love, and respecting each other. That's what it should be.

But, alas...I must run off and start purchasing the gifts I love giving...but always hope that someday, it's not about the gifts anymore, but about the Love.

Twilight

2008-11-23T19:09:00.002-06:00

I went to the Twilight movie last night with my sister Liz. IT WAS AWESOME! I have to admit, I was very worried about liking the movie. I started reading tons of reviews on Thursday, once the movie came out for viewing by press. Most reviews I had read prior to my viewing the movie were very bad. They said it was an awful film, and I was so very worried. I didn't not allow myself to be excited to see the movie, because I didn't want to walk out that more disappointed.

It was freaking AWESOME though. Liz and I walked out of the film ready to turn around and by tickets to the 9:00 showing of the film. We called Laurel right away and told her she needed to get her butt to the theater because it was WELL worth it.

I loved pretty much everything about the movie. Some reviewers said Rob Pattison and Kristen Stewart "over acted", but..I think that the "overacting" was sort of justified...I mean, they are playing 17 year olds...17 year old are VERY dramatic. Heck, I was dramatic in everything I did in life until I was 22. :) Yea, I'll admit it. Some reviews also said the special effects were awful. Yea, I'll agree that maybe they weren't like effects you see in a billion dollar film with explosions and what not...but, I don't think the film needed that. I thought the effects were fitting for the way the film was shot..which was AWESOME (in case I didn't say that already).

I told Adam I'd love to have him see the movie as well...so I could get his opinion (because I value it, AND he hasn't read the book). I wanted the opinion of someone who hadn't read the book. So...being the wonderful husband he is...we went to the matinee of Twilight today.

Happy to say, I loved the movie the 2nd time around just as much as the 1st time around. And I'm even MORE excited for New Moon. I'm also ready tor read all teh books again! :) And, to top it all off...Adam said the movie "wasn't horrible".

So..for people who are trying to decide whether they should go see the movie. YES, YES you should. Don't worry about it. They stick with the book pretty much the entire film, and what they add to the story is actually really good (well, almost everything..but that's for another post).

So...go out and watch Twilight. It was...one more time...AWESOME!

I'm officially an adult

2008-11-20T09:45:00.002-06:00

I've said this so many times in my past. I said it after I moved out of my mom's house, and had my very own apartment (with roommates of course). I said it when I bought my first car for $2500 (which only lasted approximately two years before dying). I said it when I received my Bachelor's Degree in 2004. I said it when I got my first job (which is still my job) a month following my graduation (and I had to work through life insurance benefits and health insurance and retirement and yadda yadda...thing which I still am learning about because it's so far above my head!). I said it when I bought my very first brand new car (which I'm still paying for today...only one year and 4 months left!).

I said it when I fell in love with Adam, and I knew this was the person I'd spend my entire life with (even if he didn't really know it as soon as I did). I said it when he proposed, and I knew that he finally knew what I had known for awhile. I said it when I graduated with my Masters degree...a dream I never knew I had until I actual had that paper in my hands (which remains in a file somewhere in my house...I want to hang it up, but don't want to seem...obnoxious about it). The last time I said it, I became a wife...to the love of my life. (Gag...I know!)

Each and every time I said "I'm officially an adult", with each and every one of those momentous life events I truly believed I was an adult. But, it just kept building to more, and more and more. I thought...maybe you never become an "official" adult...you just keep growing and learning and becoming more.

But I have decided that TODAY, Today is the day I'm officially an old fart...an "official" adult. Today I made my very first payment on my student loan debt (all $33,000 and change). I made my very first payment...out of a total of 240 payments...wait...now its 239! Countdown has begun. So, today I am an official adult. Today I have begun the American Dream of have never ending loans to be paid. :) How Exciting!!!

Safe Haven in Nebraska...National Attention

2008-11-17T18:11:00.002-06:00

I know everyone who reads this blog (mainly my family) is already fully aware of the uniqueness of the newly passed (meaning, this year) Safe Haven Law in Nebraska. The law was passed primarily after a 20something woman abandoned her newborn baby at a hospital, because she KNEW she could not give the child what he/she would need in order to succeed in life. The woman was cited for something or another, and was criminally prosecuted. It was at that time, Nebraskans decided...hmmm...maybe since we're the ONLY state who does not have a law that would allow this woman to drop her newborn child off at a hospital without fear of criminal prosecution...maybe we should make that law.

So...our legislature did. The only problem is, the law doesn't specifically state "newborn child", it simply states "child". Since the Safe Haven law went into effect in July (I think that is when it went into effect), there have been 30 some "children" left at Nebraska Hospitals, ranging in age from I believe 7-18 years old. Not only that, but the Safe Haven law as resulted in children being left at Nebraska Hospitals from a total of 7 different states.

Our legislator is now in a special session to try to amend the law, to go back to the basics of the law...to protect newborn children. Nebraskans are outraged that we are in a special session. I've read hundreds of comments in the Lincoln Journal Star talking about the law is fine how it is, talking about how clearly we need this law to allow children of any age to be abanoned (because, that's what it is, no matter how you describe it, it's abandonment, I'm sorry), and how there should be MORE services offered to families by the government to help struggling parents with their badly behaved children.

All I can say is WTF!

I will be the first to say child services in Nebraska (especially) are not wonderful. Our Foster Care system isn't ranked too high in the national standings. Our Teachers have very limited ability to turn into child protective services a "suspicion" of abuse in a family. Yes, I think maybe there should be more done. Do I think it should be the government? Not necessarily.

I'm so angered right now. I'm watching the news and there were protestors outside of the State Capitol saying that the law shouldn't be changed...but expanded. That we need to offer struggling parents more services, more outlets to reach out to in times of need. Yea...maybe struggling parents do need some more outlets to reach out to...but is that necessarily the governments job?

We're living in a really crappy period in U.S. History right now. Our economy is slowly going down the toilet. Our national congress is pulling money out of their asses to bail out big money companies to "right our economy" (I'm still not sure how that works). They also are now discussing a $25billion dollar bail out of the auto industry. We're pulling out all this legislation to bail out PRIVATE companies and banks, with PUBLIC money....we're spending $10billion/month on our war in Iraq (a war against an ideal...not a actual being...kind of like the War on Drugs...yep, that worked well). Our nationa debt is increasing at a rate of approximatley $3.9billion A DAY....and we have people wanting MORE! WE don't even have the money for the bail outs that have already been passed...how can we pass a law in this state to provide even more?

People in Nebraska complain all the time about paying too much in taxes. Yes, we are one of the higest taxed states in teh country...but now, now we have protestors saying we need to offer MORE services to those struggling parents. Well, how do you think we can do that w/out raising taxes? And, do you think we can do that when our National debt is where it's at now, and how it continues to grow? Eventually...we're going to get to the point where the national government doesn't even have the money to provide to states...states will have to survive on their own.

But...I digress....this is the reason I really wanted to write this blog. I think we should offer more. I'm saddened everyday by the atrocities I see in the people who come through my office. I've seen stories of incest, and sexual abuse, physical abuse, drug abuse being taught by parents, etc. etc. I'm saddened by the fact that there are so many children who grow up in low-income areas, with the belief that that is all they will ever have. Their parents work 2 or 3 or 4 jobs to just keep a roof over their head...and so when their child starts misbehaving, skipping school (or even dropping out), using drugs, sleeping around, getting pregnant...it's no surprise that parents are struggling and have jumped at the chance to be able to abandon their children in Nebraska hospitals w/out the fear of criminal prosecution. I think I would too! However, I DO NOT think it is our governments job to make raising children easier for us (there may be somet thin gs the government could do, such as raising the minimum wage or providing or something else the government should be involved in...POLICY, not FAMILY).

I think the thing that needs to be changed isn't more services provided by Government...but we need to develop COMMUNITIES. Parents are struggling becasue they have no one to turn to for help. People are living in communities where they don't even know their neighbors. If we build up COMMUNITIES who know us, and care what happens to us...wouldn't that make raising our children easier?

I don't know. I guess I can't judge those who have abandoned their children under this law. I don't have children, and I'm sure having a misbehaved child is hard for a upper class parent, let a lone a low-income, uneducated single parent. I think the government is doing all they can with Boys Town, and national hotlines...but at some point...when do we make ourselves responsible for what we brought into this world?

I'm done ranting. I hope someday we can all love each other, our neighbors, our children, and respect each other. I hope someday if I'm struggling I will have my family, or my neighbors to run to when I need someone to keep an eye out for my children. I don't expect the government to do it for me...I would expect my community, my family, my friends to help me get through those tough times.

But...this is all just my opinion.

100 Things

2008-11-12T09:58:00.002-06:00

100 Things to Do--53 out of 100...Things I've done and Been to. My answers are in RED

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (in high school, not the cool rock band, nice I played the clarinet band)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (Sad to admit, but, I always take care of myself first)
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo, when no one was home.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (I want to someday, if I find out I cannot have my own children)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables (I've always lived in apartment...someday!!)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France (I'd really really love to)
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked (In today's world....are you crazy!!)
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort (A snowman is as creative as I get)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (This is in Pink because I have plans to run a half marathon this May)
28. Ridden in a gondola
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (Lots of sunrises during detassling!)
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community (In pink because I've seen Amish, in their buggies, but not their actual community...so my answer is sort of)
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied, I'm content, and I have a roof over my head.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (and I will never ever do so again!)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class (it's on my to-do list)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen (On my to-do list)
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (not so much a toy, but I still have my snuggles)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial (and it was scary, that thing is HUGE)
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (I broke my pinky toe in high school, but that doesn't really count, does it?)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (& Book of Mormon)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury (I would love love love to, but I think i'd be eliminated pretty quickly because of my job)
91. Met someone famous (Andrew Keegan...you know...10 Things I hate about you)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby (I really want a baby, but, we're not in the right place in life just right now)
95. Seen the Alamo in person (A few times, the Huskers go to the Alamo Bowl a lot)
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake (Laurel, how have you not done this??)
97. Been involved in a law suit (it was a small civil suit, only like $700 at stake...we won!)
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day (how about more than one...yep, I have done that...with Twilight!)

Holy...I'm a loser. I've barely done anything in life. I need to get a crack a lackin!

Liz and MOm, your up!

Why am I obsessed with Twilight?

2008-11-07T15:39:00.002-06:00

So, I think I've finally driven myself absolutely insane with my Twilight Obsession. Honestly, I check PerezHilton every day just to see if he has any new sighting on Rob Pattinson (helps there is other celebrity gossip on there too, but, mainly, I go for Rob), I have 3 Twilight websites I check probably like 20 times a day (i swear this is not an exaggeration), and I STILL watch the trailers and tv spots Over and over and over, Oh, and now I'm obsessed with the soundtrack (which isn't so much the book/movie's fault, but the music is really good...OH, and Rob Pattinson is on it..YUM). It's so freaking pathetic.

So, I started thinking...what's with my obsession? Seriously, what about the characters am I obsessed with. What about the story makes me think about it, and want to know more? (Maybe the better question is...am I freaking crazy? The answer is probably yes!). I've finally decided it's the romance (duh!), and it's the fact that I feel like I will never have this same type of romance. That's what drew me in, that's what held me in, and that's what I long for.

It hit me today, though, that this is a stupid reason to be drawn to a book. I realized today (and honestly, it was probably long before today that I realized this), that I CAN AND DO have this type of romance. My husband does attempt to do these romantic gestures that make me swoon when Edward does them. BUT, when Adam does them, I snap at him. Tell him I'm a "feminist" and I can do it on my own. "I don't need your help, Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't open my own doors", etc. etc.

It's something I've always struggled with: being the girl I want to be, who stands up for women's rights, and fights for equality for all, and who pushes herself to be all she can be, and even more; and the girl who can fall in love, like Bella does with Edward, the girl who can move her body in relation to her love's, the girl who is fine with doors being opened for her, and meals being bought for her, and coats being draped over her shoulders. Am I the only one with this struggle?

I love my husband, and I give him SO MUCH shit, all the time. I yell at him for not being romantic enough...but it never fails that when he is, I yell at him (you spent too much money, you should have let me help, etc. etc.). But than, I become obsessed with the FICTIONAL Character of Edward (although, I am pretty sure I'm in love with Rob Pattinson (it's probably more his accent than him..since, you know, I don't even know him, but you know, details details)). This Fictional character has made me swoon, and I just wish I could feel that way in the real world. I have the man, a wonderful wonderful man who is more than willing to be romantic, and treat me like a princess. But, I never ever give him the chance. I'm afraid that if I do, that somehow makes me less of a woman who fights. Does that make sense?

So, I need to find middle ground. I know it's there, and I know I can walk down that middle ground and still be who I am. I can have romance and be a feminist! Right?? (Ok, if you think I can, could you please give me tips...Thanks in advance).

Anyway...that is why I THINK I am obsessed with Twilight. Good theory...right?

I just don't get it?

2008-11-05T08:36:00.002-06:00

I know better than to read comments behind news stories. Not only do the news stories usually piss me off, and make me very sad about the prejudices, and the ignorances of people in this country..but I go on and read the comments of these prejudiced/ignorant people.

In today's Journal Star I read the following:
-" Get ready for four years the US going down the drain. Thanks Obama voters "

-" Well at least now I can sit back and hold BO's supporters feet to the fire. He promised, now he's got to deliver. What do you want to bet the new catch words will be "mispoken" and "delayed". And of course, everything will still be the republicans fault. Oh well, if thats what the people want, so be it. I'll just quit my job and sit back with hand held out and wait for the welfare check to come in. "

-" Just wait, usa toast is right! This country will be a disaster real soon. You think things are bad now, just wait! Trust me, just wait! "

And perhaps my favorite:
-" Back in the USSA!! "

It's already done, the votes have been cast, and the winners announced. I can't tell you how happy I am about Barack Obama winning the Presidential Seat. After hearing his speech last night (yea, I stayed up...I'm going to need Mt. Dew tonight!), I thought maybe people would see Obama in a different light. How wrong I was!

Republicans, or Conservatives, or whatever you want to call them think we're going to be Socialist Country. I don't understand why they think we aren't already? I don't understand how they can bitch and moan about Obama, but supported Bush when he said we needed to pass the Bailout Plan ASAP. How is that not socialist? hmm???

I also don't understand why they are so upset. Republicans had some pretty impressive measures passed throughout the country. For example, here in Nebraska, voters passed a ban on Affirmative Action. Basically meaning, the state (including it's universities) CAN NO LONGER provide Preferential treatment for minority groups (which isn't just based on race, but on gender as well let me remind you). It makes me sad...but, I win Obama, they win Affirmative Action Ban. A similar law is currently too close to call in Colorado.

And, in California, as it stands now, it looks like Proposition 8 will indeed pass...making it illegal (although the Supreme Court has already decided a ban on this is UNCONSTITUTIONAL) for gays and lesbians to be legally married. So, TOTAL Loss for me, Win for you!

We all win some, we all lose some. Isn't it about time we put our petty beliefs, and opinions to rest, and start to work together. IF you don't like with Barack Obama stands for, than contact your representative...that's what they are there for, to fight for you. I'm not saying that representative will listen to you, but if you don't ever try, you'll never know. We all can have opposing views, and argue with each other about morals, and socialism, and free markets and whatever...but at the end of the day, don't you think it's more important to come together and try, and I know it's hard, but at least TRY to make compromises.

One other thing that's been annoying me. People say with Obama as President the "wealth will be redistributed", and people say there are too many people who receive welfare checks from teh government, and now that Obama is in, we all can quit our jobs, and yadda yadda yadda. IF that is your belief...let me ask you one thing. Do you know the history of welfare? Do you understand that welfare is ALREADY around. Barack Obama is not going to start this program. It was started years, and years, and years ago. If your ONLY argument of us being socialist is welfare, than, my friends, those Presidents you've elected in the past NEVER stood up for what you believe is not right. They should has disbanned such programs years ago. But they didn't. So, how does that make them any less "socialist" than what you say Obama is?

Just my two cents. can we just somehow figure out to put the hate, and the attacks, and the arguments aside and start to fight together, for a better country. For a better future for our children (or in my case my wonderful, smart, and beautiful nieces and nephews), for a better life for all of us, and not just a select few. Seriously...that's what we all want. Now, let's start working together and try to figure out how we can make that happen without the constant fighting. After all, we are the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Let's act UNITED!

Felony disenfranchisement

2008-11-04T09:57:00.002-06:00

Throughout the country, there are variations on this law. Basically, Felony Disenfranchisement makes it illegal for past convicted felons to be given the right to vote. The variations include: Some states allow voting after a certain period AFTER the prison term, probation/parole terms have been completed (i.e. Nebraska allows ex-felons to vote after 2 years of completion of entire sentence...as long as no new felonies have been convicted); Two states DO allow felons to vote (Maine and Vermont); Two states deny ALL voting rights to ex-felons even after serving their sentences (Kentucky and Virginia); Some states classify ex-felons into certain categories, some restore their voting rights others don't; and so on and so on. If you are interested in reading some more states on it, check out this pdf file put together by the The Sentencing Project. It's very interesting.

It's just so sad. According to the Sentencing Project: an estimated 5.3 MILLION Americans (1 in 41 adults), have lost their right to vote this Election Day; 1.4 million African-American Men (or 13% of the African American Male Population) have lost their right to vote; 2.1 million disenfranchised individuals are ex-offenders who have fully COMPLETED their sentences; in 2004, the state of Florida alone had an estimated 960,000 exoffenders who were unable to vote.
This is just sad. This is America. We're all supposed to have a voice...yet we don't. Yea, maybe these people screwed up, broke the law, many of them have done so over and over. But what kind of "equality" are we really achieving if we dont' even give EVERY AMERICAN the right to vote. It's disgusting, and sad...and, I just don't understand the point of it.

No wonder people stay in the Criminal Justice System. Once they get out, they continue to be ridiculed for what they did in the past. It's harder for ex-felons to obtain jobs, to obtain jobs that pay them well, adn to get out of the shit that put them in trouble in the first place.

So...if you are thinking maybe you won't go out and vote today because the lines are long, or you won't have a chance to work out if you waste time standing in line, or you don't want to have to deal with bipartisan bullshit at the polling places...think about the 5.3 million Americans who don't even have that option.

Don't be stupid...Go out and vote.

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote" -George Jean Nathan

Barack Obama

2008-10-24T08:33:00.002-05:00

I've been basically ignoring the political world for awhile. It's been bugging me, and annoying me, and I'm just ready to cast my vote already. I'm tired of fighting about what I believe in around my life. I'm tired of feeling like I'm defending my beliefs 24/7 to my co-workers (which is honestly, what happens at work anytime something about politics comes up). I'm just ready for this to be over with...so that WHEN Barack Obama wins this election...some things can start changing in this country.

I'm a support of Obama...yes. And, its not because he's a democrat. It's not because he's an amazing speaker (although, really, he is). It's not because I believe he can do more than McCain can (although, I do). I support Barack Obama because he cares about people...all people. He wants this country to be what it was back in the days when we were respected throughout the world, and looked up to, and a country where people wanted to come because their dreams could come true. I think Obama believes in that, and believes we can go back there.

I hate partisan politics. If you think about it...both sides want the same thing. We want our freedom, we want the opportunity to be successful and make our dreams come to. All of us! Republicans and Democrats. No matter how many people say Republicans don't care about people, I don't necessarily believe that. I think they do...it's just they don't wear it on their sleeves, and they like keeping their money to themselves more often than not. But, that doesn't mean they don't care about people. I just happen to be one who believes that Democrats, most of the time, are willing to put aside some of their life benefits in order to help those people. Republicans just talk about it!

Anyway...I'm getting ahead of myself. I really just wanted to post this article on here for you to read, if you feel so inclined to. Yea, maybe it's liberal media...but I believe what this article says. It's the first step into politics I've taken for about a month now. It reminds me how much I do like Barack Obama. So, read if you'd like!

Taxes

2008-10-14T09:34:00.002-05:00

Last night my dear dear friend Ivy called me. We haven't talked for about a month or so, so it was great to hear from her. We caught up on life: marriage, politics, and careers. It was nice! I really miss her, it's hard to maintain contact because I realize how much I miss her when we do talk. Life is so hard sometimes.

Anyway, in our conversation, she told me about this documentary she watched awhile back with her husband. The documentary: America: Freedom to Fascism, is about a group of Americans who believe the 16th Amendment to the Constitution DOES NOT make legal federal income taxes, and that in essence, the 16th Amendment was never honestly ratified by all the states.

So, my dear dear friend Ivy tells me to look into this documentary, and the claims in the documentary. She has become one of those Americans who believes Federal Income Taxes is illegal, and that there is no law anywhere that allows the government to collect income taxes.

I tried to look all this stuff up. I watched a clip of the documentary, I read articles about the organized groups of people who believe this...and I have to admit. I'm freaking confused. The 16th Amendment was passed in 1913, the language is not a language I understand (like most legal documents, the words are written in a very confusing way). Taxes are broken up into this and that, and government can do one, but not the other. Than some people say income taxes are legal because they are categorized as one thing...and yadda yadda yadda

I ended my research with this theory. IF the 16th Amendment does not allow government to collect federal income taxes...why has it not been overturned in the past 95 years since its ratification? IF federal income taxes are illegal...as these groups say...should we stop paying them? Wouldn't that just make matters in America worse?

I'm not sold on the theory. And even if I were sold on it, I think it's been going on for so long...ending federal income taxes would be detrimental to this country. We rely on it too much. Yea, it sucks paying taxes...but it pays for my police, my roads, my job!!! I think taxes have a reason behind them...and I agree with those reasons about 90% of the time. I do not think the 16th Amendment should be considered illegal. I do not think the federal government should stop collecting income taxes. I do not think it's illegal to pay for government services.

I understand the theories. Yes, our democracy was never meant to include such a large government. And honestly, I'm not a supporter of how large our government has become over the years. But, in order for us to downsize the government...we need to have better policies in place. At the moment, those policies DO NOT exist. Conspiracy theories about how the government is corrupt, and yadda yadda does not help our democracy. It only hurts us.

Sometimes I just get so sick of all the fighting on both sides (and yes, I do it too...so I'm not perfect). I just wish people would realize that fighting about something that happened in 1913, and start fighting for things that you can change now!!!! In order to stop federal taxes, you need to find a way out of what our government has become first. So stop fighting, and start looking for alternatives.

And that's my peace!

Stuffed Pepper Soup

2008-10-13T17:48:00.002-05:00

This is one of my favorite "soup" recipes...which I am eating right this moment. So, I thought I'd share. It's super easy, and yummy...and cheap to make too. So...try it, it's delicious! Hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of cold weather as much as I am!!!

STUFFED PEPPER SOUP
1 pouch (8.8oz) ready-to-serve long grain and wild rice (I use Uncle Ben's or whatever it's called)
1lb. ground beef
2 c. frozen chopped green peppers (I can never find frozen green peppers, so I just get one fresh green pepper and chop it up)
1 c. chopped onion (I use either minced onion, or Onion Onion Seasoning from Tastefully Simple, to make it a little bit cheaper of a meal)
1 jar (26oz) chunky tomato pasta sauce
1 can (14 1/2 oz.) Italian diced tomatoes, undrained
1 can beef broth

Prepare rice accoridng tp package directions. Meanwhile, in a large saucepan, cook the beef, green peppers and the onion until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the pasta sauce, tomatoes, broth and prepared rice; heat throuh. Yield: 6-8 servings (2 qts. approximately)

ENJOY

Twilight

2008-10-06T09:23:00.002-05:00

I finished all 4 books in 7 days. I have read Twilight (the first book) 2.5 times now (2 times all the way through, and then bits and pieces over this past weekend). I have started reading book 3 (Bella) in Breaking Dawn again this morning. I just cannot get enough. I'm freaking insane.

I have books on my desk right now that I need to read, but I just can't get motivated. So, I need someone to volunteer to read these Twilight Books next, so that I can get them out of my house and move on with my life already.

Next up...book to doom and gloom we call "The World Around Us"...I am starting a book called A Problem From Hell: America and the Age of Genocide.

I think I should probably just read twilight again...

Interesting Take...

2008-10-02T11:09:00.001-05:00

I think I may be more conservative than I thought before. This article says a lot, and I agree with him in a lot of ways. We do spend too much time on the President...when you actually look at his powers...doesn't have much power at all. So, I encourage everyone to take his advice. Look into politicians of every part of your government...State, County, City, Congress. Those are the people we elect to show our opinions...not the President.

Just a thought...

Twilight

2008-10-02T08:56:00.000-05:00

My sister, Bless her heart, has made me a freak!!! She became addicted to the books written by Stephanie Meyer..."Twilight". In total, there are now 4 books, with one supposedly no longer being worked on because it was leaked on the internet...which I'm sure I'll be much more upset about once I finish the fourth book and want more.

Anyway, she's been bugging me for probably over a year now to read these books. I've so completely uninterested in doing so...the books are about a vampire falling in love with a mortal. To make things even worse...the books are "young adult"...meaning teenagers. Yea, the vampire and his human mate are in freaking high school. It sounded so completely dumb to me.

But, after my other sister read the books, and several of her co-workers/friends read the books as well...she brought them to me. I had nothing better to do this past Saturday, as I was doing laundry and getting ready for my Milwaukee trip, so I decided to give the first book I try. I was freaking hooked...immediately!!!!

I started Twilight (the first book) on Saturday morning, and finished it Sunday evening. I started the second book immediate after I finished the first book, Sunday evening. I finished the second book on Monday. I was so upset with myself that I didn't bring the third book with me to Milwaukee. But, how was I to know I would read the first two that quickly?? So, in order to get my Edward and Bella fix, I read the first book AGAIN...waiting for Wednesday when I could get home and read. I couldn't get them out of my freaking head.

Last night, I started...and finished...the 625 page third book. I was up until 3:30!!! I'm freaking dying right now. Not so much tired...but I can't get the story out of my head. I have to know what happens. I'm hoping to get a few chapters read today at lunch.

This is so not normal...and I hate admitting how completely obsessed with these books I am. But, I must admit...it's a great change of pace. I've been reading so many political books lately, that I've been getting really depressed about humanity. So, rushing through these books has been a great change of pace. It's about love, and sacrifice, and its just a really sweet and good book. It's probably not going to a classic...it's a pretty quick read to be honest, but i freaking LOVE it.

I can't wait for the movie. Hopefully the on screen Edward can live up the dream I have! :) Gosh, I'm such a loser!!!

Oh...and the conference was excellent too!

Safe Haven

2008-09-26T10:37:00.002-05:00

So, Nebraska was the very last state to pass a safe haven law. The point of the law is to allow women to leave their newborn babies at a hospital...if they have no intention of keeping that child, without having any legal repurcussion against him/her. This law is intended to prevent the horror stories of finding newborn babies in trash cans and the like after a mother decides that is the best fate for that child.

Well, Nebraska is kind of slow with these things, and they finally passed the law in the past year (i don't know the exact date). Anyway, the Nebraska law is a bit unique, because in the law it states "child". Therefore, there is a bit of a loophole...and people have been taking advantage of it. Just this week, a father dropped off his 9 children (ranging from age 1-17) at Creighton Hospital in Omaha. Why? Well, he couldn't take care of them anymore after his wife died last year after giving birth to their 10th child.

A couple weeks ago a mother took her 13 year old child to a hospital because he was "having behavioral problems" and she couldn't handle it anymore. Since the law has been enacted...a total of 16 "children" have been surrendered to hospitals by their parents and/or guardians.

I think this is horrible. My sister disagrees. She says these parents have already abandoned the children...so why not give the children a chance somewhere else. I understand where she is coming from...but this man who left his 9 children, it sounds like he just couldn't handle it because he was alone. It's not because he beat them, or didn't love them. Clearly he does love them...but do they really have a better chance at becoming "normal" or outstanding citizens by living their lives out in Foster Care. A system paid for by the state...which is also one of the WORST ranked foster care systems in the country.

I'm just disgusted. It leads me to my end all when it comes to children and states paying for families to raise their kids. Comprehensive Sex Education! I know that's a huge leap, but people need to understand your kid isn't going to be an angel, and having children isn't always going to be easy and fun. Yes, I feel horrible for these people...but they need to realize there are other options out there...non-profit agencies who want to help struggling families with raising outstanding citizens. Abandoning your child is not the solution...it just causes more problems.

We all love the Sex

2008-09-23T13:34:00.002-05:00

Sex and the City-The Movie comes out today!!! I'm so very excited! Even though I've already seen the movie twice in the theatre, I have been waiting for this day, so that my Sex and the City Collection can be complete! WOO HOO

Sadly, I've decided to not buy the movie today...or in the next week even. It's sort of bad timing. All my shows premiere this week too, so really, I won't have time to watch Sex and the City until Saturday. Hmm...maybe I'll buy it for myself on Friday. I'll need a pick me up after watching the Presidential Debate on Friday! Yep, That's when I'll get it. Hopefully it's not sold out by then. :)

In other I'm a loser and all I do is watch tv news. IT'S PREMIERE WEEK! Last night I enjoyed all new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, and Two and Half Men. I also watched the new series Worst Week. It was ok...but pretty predictable.

Tonight, the premiere of NCIS. WOO HOO, the crew breaks up. Sort of sucks because it is on the same time as House, which premiered last week. I'm thinking I'll just save my House watching for online...that way I can watch with Adam. I must make sacrifices! Also tonight, the premiere of the Mentalist. I will check it out and see what I think.

Tomorrow is the premiere of Criminal Minds. Although I am afraid of watching this show alone..I must find out...who was in the car that blew up. PLEASE don't let it be JJ. Than, following that, the return of Lipstick Jungle. Yea, I know, it's a stupid show..but Kirby is hot!! :)

Perhaps the most exciting of this week, however, lies in Thursday! Ugly Betty, The Office, and Grey's Anatomy. I'm going to have to again make a choice between Grey's and The Office. They are both on at the same time. I think I've decided to watch Grey's live...because it's 2 hours!
We'll see.

Friday is Presidential Debate. It's shaping up to be a great week. Now, if only I could find time to watch Sex and the City 100 times! :)

I'm such a loser...So, what shows are y'all looking forward to?

Economy and Babies

2008-09-18T10:22:00.003-05:00

When Adam and I got married, not much changed. We were already living together, already planning our futures together, and already helping each other financially and emotionally. I knew the marriage would make me feel different...but, the way I actually felt different was a HUGE surprise to me.

On our honeymoon (if you even want to call it that, but that's for another day), I had this sudden urge to have a baby. For the first time in my life I wanted nothing more than to have Adam's child. I wanted to feel the things my sisters always glistened about when they were pregnant. Never in my life have I wanted to have kids...until I got married to Adam.

I try to convince Adam every single time he is home on the weekends that we should have a baby. He says we should wait at least two years before we make that decision (so that hopefully he will have a more permanent job). Which, yes, makes sense...but when did have a family really need to make sense?

With Wall Street blowing up, and me freaking out even more about Adam not have a job in January, I've calmed down a bit with the baby talk. But it's still there...lurking. Is it better to wait until we are financially more stable? Or, do we just go for it, and make it work? I see pros and cons to both sides...but I can't decide which is the best.

I guess before anything should happen, it would at least be nice to live with my husband. Maybe after January I can talk Adam into it, and the economy might have a better outlook. Here's hoping!

Squeakity, Squeaker, Squeak

2008-09-17T13:47:00.003-05:00

My office desk and chair squeak. Every time I lean on my desk, it squeaks. Every time I flex a butt cheek in my chair, it squeaks. It drives me crazy. Not only does my chair squeak, but so does the rest of the office. I can hear everything. I know when anyone flexes a damn butt cheek!

To make my office even less enjoyable. The old shitty radio I have gets ONE channel. A channel that isn't too horrible...if you like hearing the same 5 songs OVER, and OVER, and OVER, and OVER, and OVER again. Serioulsy...

Also, the radio is so old and shitty that it's fidgety. I cannot keep it at a low level. It's either non-existent music which is so quiet that I can hear all the squeaky chairs in the office...Or it's so incredibly loud I can't even hear myself think. And, I also get a headache.

So...in summary. My office sucks!

Republicans...Look Away

2008-09-15T10:25:00.003-05:00

I just read this article about how NOT feminist Sarah Palin is. If you don't want to read the entire article, I understand...it was hard to understand some parts, because honestly, I'm not a feminism expert. Although, I do consider myself a feminist! Anyway, so, if you don't want to read it, I will just excerpt the one paragraph that I was like...YEA, who the heck does she think she is!! I highly recommend reading this article! I also recommend you read as many articles as you can that are linked in this article. Like the article where it discusses how apparently, Sarah Palin and her Chief of Police in Wasilla wanted to end a law which helped rape victims pay for their tests (rape kits). In other words, there is a law that says victims of rape DO NOT have to pay for the rape exams at the hospital. Palin, and her Police Chief wanted that to no longer be the case, and wanted all rape victims to pay, out of their own pockets, the $500-1,200 costs of their exams. Yuck! Anyway, check it out if you want.

Palin's femininity is one that is recognizable to most women: She's the kind of broad who speaks on behalf of other broads but appears not to like them very much. The kind of woman who, as Jessica Grose at Jezebel has eloquently noted, achieves her power by doing everything modern women believed they did not have to do: presenting herself as maternal and sexual, sucking up to men, evincing an absolute lack of native ambition, instead emphasizing her luck as the recipient of strong male support and approval. It works because these stances do not upset antiquated gender norms. So when the moment comes, when tolerance for and interest in female power have been forcibly expanded by Clinton, a woman more willing to throw elbows and defy gender expectations but who falls short of the goal, Palin is there, tapped as a supposedly perfect substitute by powerful men who appreciate her charms.

9/11

2008-09-11T13:46:00.000-05:00

So, everyone is writing about where they were 7 years ago today. So, I decided to take my turn at it as well.

I was in my Philosophy 110 class, with my dear dear friend John. I remember, being hung over, and having our professor walk into class late saying a plane had just crashed into the WTC. I didn't really know what the heck that meant, so we went on with class.

John and I than walked towards my Anthropology class (yuck). He convinced me, while having a cigarette, to skip and go hang out at the union. So, we did. It was only then that we realized what our professor was talking about in Philosophy. The union was like a freaking museum or something. It was so quiet in there. Seriously...no coffee machines running, nobody standing in line for food, nobody on their telephones. Every single person in that place, was GLUED to the tv. EVERYONE!

John and I sat and watched it for a bit, realizing this was a huge deal in the world, not just America. I remember we walked back, in silence, to my dorm room to continue watching the news. For the next week, that was all anyone could do. You'd walk down the hallway in the dorms, and every single door was open, with the news on, and people talking to friends and family on the phones, and people getting together for prayers, and candle lightings, and just to not be alone. The whole week was just creepy, and just so unreal.

I still have the newspaper from 9/12. I remember thinking this was history, and for the rest of my life, I would forever remember where I was, and what I was doing (I'm ashamed I was hung over and smoking cigarettes).

I think it's great that we remember that day. I think its' great that we remember the innocent victims from WTC, Pennsylvania, the Pentagon, and those three flights. I think it's great that once a year we all become so filled up with remembering, that we forget. We forget that we hate each other, and that we smear each others names on every other day of the year. I think it's great.

So, there it is. I'll probably never write about this again. But, every 9/11, even without thinking about it, I think of Philosophy, and Anthroplogy, and my dear dear friend Johnny. And the fact that we all love each other...again, at least for one day.

Photo Albums

2008-09-09T15:11:00.000-05:00

So, I have decided that I want to make a photo album with all the wedding pictures. My plan, hopefully, is to make an album, and than send it to my family for their memory shelfs as well.

Anyway, there are a TON of different websites for this.
picaboo.com
shutterfly.com
mypublisher.com
blurb.com
qualityphotobooks.com
sharedink.com
etc. etc. etc.

I decided to use mypublisher.com. I downloaded the software and everything, and started working on the album last night (even though I have more pictures I want to upload into the program for the book...but you get the picture). Today, for some reason, I ran into some reviews of mypublisher.com and heard the pictures aren't very good quality. So, now, I don't know what the heck to do.

I still want to put together an album, but maybe I should just print off the pictures I want and do the old fashioned photo albums (with the plastic sleeves and all). But, the photo books are fun because you can change the layout, etc, and I just like that.

So...opinions? Suggestions? I'll probably work some more on the album tonight, and than this weekend show Adam and see what he thinks. I'm just worried that I'll love the album I create, and than order a ton (which aren't too expensive, but still it's a bit of money), and than get them and hate the poor printer quality of the pictures. These are my wedding pictures, and I want them to look classy. So, I'm torn, and I don't know what to do. All I know is that I really want to do something creative and fun with my pictures, and an 'ol fashioned photo album just doesn't sound too fun.

Ho Hum, Ho Hum!

What the heck!

2008-09-09T10:09:00.001-05:00

Laurel led me to this blog, which I really enjoyed, even though I'm not a mother. Anyway, she did this thing...so, I'll do it too. Nothing better to do at the moment.

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:

1. Go to Ireland

2. Swim in the Ocean

3. Run a marathon

4. Get my Doctorate Degree, or my Juris Doctorate

5. Have Children

6. Change people's lives!

7. Finish going through my wedding pictures, and making a memory book! :)

Seven Things I CAN Do:

1. Make myself feel fat, all the time

2. Love my family, even when I am so angry at them it makes me cry!

3. Laugh at myself, usually after some time has passed

4. Consume alcohol with sophistication (much to the disappointment, and disapproval of my mother)

5. Overanalyze EVERYTHING

6. Listen to people

7. Make a mean lasagna!

Seven Things I CANNOT Do:

1. Work with raw meat

2. Come to the realization that this is life...even if it's not exciting!

3. understand why people act like they "deserve" things over other people

4. stand people who vote among party lines, without researching all candidates

5. ever fully eat leftovers, even though I have every intention of finishing it all, and that's why I make a bigger portion in the first place

6. Stop eating Oso Nachos even though they are expensive, and fattening

7. argue without yelling

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Spouse:

1. His passion for his career path

2. His trust, and belief in me

3. The way he conducts a band (now, if that isn't a band nerd speaking, I don't know what is)

4. The way he rubs my back, even when he is dead tired, but he knows I love it, so he does it still

5. His smile

6. His hands

7. His unfettering trust in the world, and in the possibility of our remaining happy in this world, for the rest of our lives

Seven Things I Say Most Often:

1. F**K (let's face it, it's my favorite word)

2. I love you

3. "Just living the dream"

4. "I Love my job...really"

5. "I can't stand that girl"

6. "Wanna get drinks sometime"

7. "I miss you"

Seven Celebrity Crushes:

1. PLEASE

2. SEE
3. PREVIOUS

4. POST

5.

6.
7.

Seven People Who I Think Should Do This:

1. Laurel

2. Mom

3. Krissy

4. Liz

5. Adam

6. Anyone else who actually reads this blog

7. And, um, yea...you!?

My boys!

2008-08-29T09:53:00.000-05:00

Well, Laurel got me started...so I decided to blog about the boys I have permission, from Adam, to love up on, and not have any negative things happen in my marriage. So, without further ado, here they be.

#1: Justin Timberlake-let me just say...YUM! He is so damn sexy, but not in the typical sexy definition. I was never too attracted to him, but always liked his music, that is until I attended his concert in Omaha. Oh My GOSH! I have never thought a man in a suit with freaking sneakers on was hot, but let me tell you...Justin Timberlake can pull it off. He is H-O-T!!! Love him!!

#2: Brad Pitt: I loved him back in the day...all the way back to Legends of the Fall, Ah Tristan, I loved you. I must say, I do enjoy his shorter do compared to his long hair from Legends, but I'd be happy to run my fingers through whatever he's doing with his hair. And...if he'd like to bring Angelina Jolie along, I'd be alright with that too (but that's an entirely different blog altogether!).

#3: Patrick Dempsy: Like Laurel, I loved him a long time ago. I still get little butterflies in my stomach while watching "Can't buy me love" and "Loverboy". I think I'll also agree with Laurel, i have a thing with curly hair, that gets crazy and out of hand! HOT!!! Which leads me to...

#4: Michael Phelps: He's freaking hot only when swimming. When he talks, he sounds pretty stupid, but he's freaking nice to look at, and I like seeing his rock hard body swimming like a fish. Something about a swimmer...they are strong, and hot!

#5: Zach Braff: This is a recent addition to my list. Just recently became addicted to Scrubs, and he's so cute in the show. SO...if I could have Zach Braff as Dr. Dorian, I'd be good. However, I did see him in a Punked episode where he freaked out on a little kid, and was a total dickhead...so yea, I only want Zach Braff if he is Dr. Dorian! Yum

#6: Christopher Gorham: From Ugly Betty (AKA Henry). The episode where he was the model for some underwear...holy cow, that nerd has a nice body. Then, he was in Cosmo, and he's pretty hot I must say. Lose the glasses, and i'll take him!

Ok, that's all I can think of at the moment. I'll let my mind wander for a bit, and add more later! I wonder if Adam will put a limit on my list??

Summer=Hot, so shut up

2008-07-28T08:19:00.000-05:00

It's been pretty hot in Nebraska lately. Anyone who has been in Nebraska knows that it's hot because it's so freaking humid. Over the weekend, I believe the humidity was 85-95% all weekend. So yea...it was hot. But, you know what...it's summer, it's supposed to be hot.

I'm just getting tired of people complaining about the heat. Like people saying "I'm glad we have ac in here, its so hot out". Yea, it's summer, that's what happens. Or "I'm planning on staying in as long as I can". So, your not going to do your job because you may be a bit uncomfortable? Because it's summer and hot? That just doesn't make sense.

Yes, its hot. And yes, I hate it. I hate how it makes me sticky and dirty feeling. I hate that it makes me not want to work out because I can't breathe. I hate having to wear a suit in hot weather. But, what does complaining about it really do? It's going to be hot no matter what. So...just stop complaining!

Feeling Empty

2008-07-24T13:14:00.000-05:00

Well, the wedding with off without too much trouble. The things I was worried about ended up great, the things I was not worried about didn't even show up (my cake,specifically). Anywho...it was a beautiful wedding (I only realized after the fact, looking at hundred and hundred of pictures). My family was amazing during the whole wedding period. My sisters helped more than I really even knew they needed to, and I cannot thank them enough for that. Everything was wonderful, and people were eager to help wherever, and whenever. I cannot wait to start writing thank you notes to let everyone know how much they really did help, because they did.

We went to Colorado for a brief time (3 days). It was nice to get out of here and to actually be able to talk to my husband without 500 people around us. It was nice! I must admit, however...I still don't feel like we are married. I guess once I get EVERYTHING changed to my new name it will feel more so, but for now, it feels like we just had a big party. Honestly, looking back on all the pictures I feel like I'm dreaming or something. I cannot believe how fast the whole day went.

Now, i'm back to work, and feeling very empty. For the last year I've always had this wedding in the back of my head. So, if ever I needed a break from work...I just started searing for wedding ideas. Now, I'm just working constantly, with nothing to really take me away. It's horrible, I wanted this wedding to get over, and be done with...but now I miss it.

I know I told everyone I wish I had eloped, but honestly, I'm glad I had the wedding. It was so much fun to be able to be a bride (even though I wasn't the traditional bride by any means). It was nice to be able to plan an event like I did, and watch it come to life. It is so fun to look back at the pictures and smile thinking about how all my hard work (and so many other people's hard work) turned out wonderfully. It was beautiful.

So...what do I do with my creative juices now?? Hmmm...maybe I'll redecorate the apartment. Adam better watch out, when he comes home on teh weekends, he won't even recognize the place.

Big Week

2008-07-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

This is the biggest week of my life, I do believe.

Laurel is getting into town with her family on Wednesday. I knew this for a long time, but when it actually gets to the point when you can say "in two days my sister will be here", it's pretty darn exciting.

Also...I am getting freaking married! Holy Cow, I can hardly believe it. I'm sure there is still a ton of things I need to work out, but oh my goodness, I'm getting married. It's no longer a thing in the future, it's a thing of THIS WEEK! WOW!! In 5 days, I will be Mrs. Killham...HOLY COW!!!

Oh, and I get lots of time off of work. Thank goodness! I can hardly stand sitting here today, so I'm thinking, maybe I should take Wednesday off as well! Hmmm.....

Happy Big Week to me!!

Family

2008-07-01T07:36:00.000-05:00

I may complain about my family a lot...but I love them. I really do. I may have some hidden angers towards some family members...but in the end, that doesn't really matter, I still love them. My family is strange, we fight, a lot. We fight about stupid shit, like how our kids (meaning Liz's and Laurel's) will wear their hair for the wedding. We fight about important shit, like whether we are respecting each others opinions or just judging. But, no matter how much we fight...we're always there for each other. ALWAYS! And that's why my family is awesome.

I am getting married in 10 days. Although I haven't had the traditional wedding planning stuff happen (i.e. engagement parties, wedding showers, bachelorette parties, etc), it's been a fun process. I've enjoyed getting input from my sisters (for the most part), and my mom. Even if they don't feel as though they've helped...they have. Just by letting me call and complain about money, or dresses, or family problems, or whatever, they have been there. And in the end, that's all the help I've ever needed. My family is just great!

I realized today, however, that I have another family too. The other day I blogged about how sad I am because Adam and Krissy will both be leaving Lincoln in about a month. I'm sad, and scared about losing the relationships with them I currently have...so, I've been a big cry baby. So yea, I blogged about that, and this morning I saw I had two comments.

The first comment was from Adam's sister-in-law. I've always liked her, and always had fun around her. Her comment basically invited me to come over whenever I was feeling down to hang out with them, to go shopping with her and Matthew, and then she mentioned taking contemporary dance lessons (Mia Michaels, Here I come!). It was nice!

The second comment was from Adam's brother. He too offered to have me over anytime, to just talk, or have dinner, or play games.

Then...all of a sudden, it hit me. They are my family too. Sure, we've been invited over to both places before. But I've never really been invited solo. And by them offering, it made me realize that even with Adam gone...they will be there for me. It was a nice feeling...and it sort of freaked me out. Holy Cow, I'm getting married in 10 days!

I'm very happy today. I have a wonderful family, that I've had my entire life. I love them all with all I am, and am so happy I have them in my lives everyday (via telephone mostly). I'm also very happy to know that my family is growing, and that they do care about me as well. I guess I'm just feeling all sorts of warm and fuzzy today. That's what I need!

Word of the Day

2008-06-27T09:47:00.000-05:00

harbinger: (noun)
1. (Archaic) One who provides lodgings; especially, the officer of the English royal household who formerly preceded the court when traveling, to provide and prepare lodgings.
2. A forerunner; a precursor; one that presages or foreshadows what is to come.

My attempt to use this word...i think this may go better than yesterday.

In two weeks I will be a harbinger for Big Tom so that he can spend his money on a wedding gift for me! (haha, i'm just kidding...that's not the reason).

I'm still trying to figure out cockaigne....

HOLY COW!

2008-06-27T08:42:00.001-05:00

I just read this article on people.com regarding Kimora Lee Simmons divorce settlement. HOLY COW!!!

She has sole custody of their two children (ages 8 and 5), and Russel Simmons is ordered to pay $20,000/month per child in child support (so...a total of $40,000/month). In addition, he is required to buy/lease a car valued at $60,000 or more every 24 months for the girls (his daughters, that is).

HOLY CRAP!!! Can you imagine getting $20,000/child/month. HOLY COW!!!

And, why the car thing? That seems a bit frivolous, don't you think. And plus...Kimora Lee makes some good money, so why the heck does she need all of that! WOW, that's all I can really say...WOW!

I forgot about this

2008-06-26T12:58:00.000-05:00

It's 90's at Noon time here in Lincoln. Usually this hour consists of the same 20-30 songs rotated throughout the week. But, today, a real oldie gem came on...The SunScreen Song. I forgot how much good advice this "song" has in it. So, I decided to post it here, and make comments where I deem necessary.

The lyrics to Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen, by Mary Schmich:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. (I need to remember this...I'm always talking about how I NEED TO work out. Really, I should work out to stay healthy, but do I really NEED TO?)

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. (I really need to take this in stride...especially when it comes to storms (lately anyway). But, in a lot of other areas in my life...life will happen the way it's supposed to happen, and my worrying aint' going to do nothing about it)

Do one thing every day that scares you. (Good advice, in theory, but there aren't enough hours in the day...so maybe once a week? once a month?)

Sing. (I love singing)

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. (I need to remember this when Adam and I have fights, sometimes we say things that are mean and hurtful...and I should never be reckless like that with him...NEVER)

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. (This one is hard for me too, but it's so true...all that matters is me, not how I'm compared to others)

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. (Thank you, I thought I was crazy for not knowing what I want to be when I grow up...and I'm already in a career)

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. (Maybe integrate this with your singing!)

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. (Laurel and I would benefit from these...not good direction readers)

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. (AMEN)

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. ( I love this advice!)

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. (I keep saying I"m going to re-establish friendships that have been lost as a result of geography and lifestyle, but I never do. What am I waiting for?)

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel. (I need to work on this one too, maybe Krissy does enough for all of us)

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. (I love this one. I know Adam will always take care of me...but I just want to make sure if something would ever happen, I'd be able to take care of me too)

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Word 'o the Day

2008-06-26T08:24:00.001-05:00

This word of the day is brought to you by: dictionary.com

Today's word is: cockaigne (noun) Pronunciation: [ka-keyn]
Definition: a fabled land of luxury and idleness

Last night I dreamed of a cockaigne, in which all people cared for, respected, and admired all people.

Did I use that word right? I'm not quite sure. I really want to use it as an adjective....I'll keep thinking, and perhaps I shall return. Possibly with a cockaigne spirit inside! :) haha

What's the point!

2008-06-25T08:56:00.000-05:00

I check blogs everyday. Honestly, I probably check blogs everyday about 10 times. I'm pathetic, and I'm a loser. I sit around thinking about thing I want to talk about. I try to think about things that I think will produce conversation among the 5 people who may actually read my blogs...but that never happens. I think I've finally decided...today, that I shouldn't be blogging about what I blog about.

Then I try to think about what should I be blogging about? My everyday life? That's pretty boring really. My dream everyday life....hmmm, that could be fun.

Ooh, maybe I can pick a word a day and write a blog around that word. That could be fun?

How about...everyday I tell a "smooth moment" story that I hear on Bob and Tom on my way into work?

Or, I can write about celebrities? I'm obsessed with celebrities!

I don't know what to write about, but I clearly don't write about fun and interesting things now. So...maybe the answer is...don't blog at all!

Crappy Week

2008-06-24T13:35:00.000-05:00

I've been dreading this week since we started planning this wedding. This is the week all my final bills are to be paid off. This is what we've paid for already:

DJ
Officiant
Half reception Deposit
Flowers

Things to still pay off:
Cake
Photographer
Remaining Deposit
Keg
Damage Deposit
Drinks for Reception

UGH!!! My savings is slowly going to ZERO. BOO

Tagged

2008-06-22T17:14:00.000-05:00

5 Things on my "to do list this week:
1. Develop Wedding Itinerary
2. Make list of pictures for wedding day
3. DJ Questionaire/Payment
4. Cake Finalization/Payment
5. Reception Meeting (Layout, Payment, Time to Open, etc)

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Chips (my new favorite is Archer Farms Jalepeno Cheddar..YUM)
2. Cookies (usually snickerdoodle or chocolate chip)
3. Watermelon or Strawberries or Grapes (whichever we happen to have)
4. Carrots
5. Anything Chocolate, if it's in the house

5 Things I would do if I suddenly became a billionare:
1. Pay off my car, and buy Adam a new more fuel efficient car
2. Pay off student loans of family (Mine, Adam's, Krissy (maybe only some!! haha), Liz, and Mom)
3. Donate some money to mi familia (for children's college fund maybe...)
4. Buy a house
5. Charity
6. Buy dogs for my big back year

Can you tell I've thought about this a lot...my money would clearly be gone quickly!!!

5 Places I've Lived:
1. McCook, NE
2. O'Neill Circle in Grand Island, NE
3. East 8th Street in Grand Islane, NE
4. O'Neill Circle again (different house) in Grand Island, NE
5. Lincoln, NE (at 10 different address...all in 8 years!)

5 Jobs I've Had:
1. Detassler
2. Crew Coach of Detassling Crew
3. Lifeguard at Waterpark
4. Sears (check out girl)
5. Pretrial Officer/Technician or whatever you want to call me

5 Things People Don't Know About Me
1. I have low self-esteem
2. I love working out...even if I complain about it
3. I have to have my clothes hung up in a specific way or I can't fall asleep
4. I really don't make as much money as people think I do
5. No matter how crabby I am to my family, I love them very much!!!

5 Favorite musicians/bands
1. Pink
2. Dierks Bentley
3. Miranda Lambert
4. Justin Timberlake
5. Journey
6. Stevie Knicks

Um, i agree with Laurel. I love everything except for Rap stuff...except for Dr. Dre, how can you not love him!!! The Original Gangsta!! :)

I tag Zoe, Greyson, and Adam

Equal partnerships

2008-06-19T11:27:00.000-05:00

I think one of the reasons I am so afraid of having children, is because I don't want to give up my career. I've worked hard to get where I am (though it's not where I ultimately want to be), and I'd be sad to give that all up when I have children.

One of the blogs I read "World as Meditation" writes a lot about choice feminism, and she had a blog with a link to a New York Times Magazine article all about becoming equal partners in marriage, and in raising families. It's a long article, but it pinpoints a lot of interesting facts about women and men, and how they change their work schedules once children come into the equation.

The article is also good because it doesn't say one way is better than the other. Which is exactly how I feel. If I choose, to someday leave my career because I want to focus on being a mother...I want to be able to do that. The article talks about a lot of different "partnership" scenarios between men and women. There is a lot to think about, and I think I'll have Adam read it...and we'll discuss it together.

Here's a link to the article...in case you are interested in reading it. Again...it's rather long, so maybe take a page at a time.

I have no doubt that at some point in my life I will want kids. I hope that I decide to have children someday, and decide to work it out with Adam as to what works best...for both of us. Maybe I'll love my job so much, and he will be able to just write drill or something. The truth is, I don't know what is best for me, in teh future. All I know is the now, and for now, I'm alright with us not hurrying into thinking about children. Right now, we've decided to focus on our careers. That will more than likely change in the future...and I look forward to that battle once it comes.

anyway...something to think about!

DMV

2008-06-17T10:03:00.000-05:00

I realized over the weekend that my driver's license had expired on my birthday. While Adam and I were discussing renewal of my license, we realized how freaking expensive it is ($23.75) to get a license in Nebraska. So, we thought about me just waiting, and driving illegal, until my name change in about a month.

I didn't feel right, however, about driving around for the next 4 weeks with an expired driver's license...so I researched the prices of licenses a little bit yesterday while at work. I saw that they did have lower prices for licenses issued for 6 months or less ($4 something). So, I decided to go into the DMV this morning to get my license renewed. Here is what happened.

1. The DMV Examiner (eyes) lectured me for not having changed my address from Grand Island to Lincoln when I moved here. (UM, sure, why the hell would I renew my license when I move EVERY YEAR, at $23.75 a pop, that's really a rip off...if I do say so myself).

2. I had to press my forehead on the same machine thousands of other driving Nebraskans have. That's gross

3. When the informational sheet was printed, it had the price $23.75 on there. I politely asked "is there a way I can get the license issued for only 6 months, because I will be changing my name in about a month after I get married". He told me "Go ask the next station that question, ask for the "Marriage discount" hahaha".

4. I move into the "wait here" area for my picture to be taken and I hear the two people at the examination table make fun of me. "Oh, I didn't have the heart to tell her there is not a chance in hell she'll be able to pay less than $23.75 for her license".

5. I decided not to ask the next lady, for fear of being ridiculed once again. So, I paid $23.75 for a freaking license I will have for 1 month.

* Why did my mom have to raise me to be honest? I should have just driven illegally for the next month. Fucking DMV!!!

Than, as I was leaving the DMV I had people attack me to sign a petition. The last time this happened, at the DMV, I just walked past them trying to get away, and the lady on that day called me a bitch. Nice! So, I decided to give them an opportunity this time. She asked if I was registered, I said yes. She asked if I wanted to sign the petition...I said, What's it for. She says "it's to prevent discrimination in the state".

I looked at her and said "I don't believe in that". She stood there and looked at me puzzling. So I smiled, and said "Have a great day!"

I only grew angry once I left the DMV to come to work. A) Because I spent $23.75 for a license, and will have to pay $23.75 again in a month for another license, and B) That lady pissed me off. She didn't even explain the freaking petition to me correctly. Her f-ing petition is not to "prevent discrimination" as she said to me...but rather, it is it to basically recall all affirmative action laws in the state of nebraska. Wouldn't this actually be increasing discrimination among groups typically discriminated against, and instead giving white men more rights to certain positions. This petition she wanted me to sign would actually do away with outreach programs at the University for ethnic students. Why do people think that's a good idea?

Anyway, she pissed me off! If you want me to sign something, tell me the whole story. Stupid uppity white woman! ARGH!!!

A freaky realization

2008-06-12T18:48:00.001-05:00

Adam just showed me this picture. This is what went over Lincoln last night. I cant believe we got out of last night without any real damage.

Storms in NE

2008-06-12T09:19:00.000-05:00

I think I've always been a bit afraid of storms, but not like I have been in the past year. When I was younger I do remember going out to look at clouds, but if I saw even ONE rotation, I ran my butt downstairs. Lately, however, if there is any chance of severe weather, I'm a ball of anxiety.

Last night I decided...tonight is the night I'm going to overcome this. And I was doing good. I was fine when there was a confirmed tornado touchdown approximately 27 miles north of Lincoln (from a storm cell I actually watched move northward). I was even fine when dark clouds started being noticed out west. But, then I looked at the radar and saw there were storms developing to the southwest of Lincoln, and I just knew we were in for a long night. So, I asked Adam if we could go to Liz's house (where there is a basement)..."Just for one more night". He agreed, and we packed up Pug and drove across town.

Once we got to Liz's house, and even on the way to Liz's house, I was doing pretty alright. I felt like a baby for having left the apartment. However, about 15 minutes after getting to Liz's house, they called a Tornado warning for Lancaster County..."heading straight for the city of Lincoln". AHHH!!!

So, here is a picture of the 1st storm moving into Lincoln. This is just west of Lincoln (probably about 15 miles southwest of where Liz's house is located).

So, we sat in the basement, and watched the news. Krissy started calling/texting asking how I was doing, and where I was. I told her we were at Liz's and doing fine. Then she calls and tells me there is a confirmed tornado touchdown just on the university campus (maybe 5 miles southeast of Liz's house). The weather man is always sporadically reporting "confirmed storm spotter tornadic touchdowns in central Lincoln". HOLY CRAP! I was freaking out, but was keeping my cool and reading books to Vivian (not realizing while I was reading...she also peed on my leg! Gross!).

SO, first tornado rolls through pretty quickly. There was a TON of rain. Liz's basement started getting wet, and we were starting to get the kids to "high ground", on the bed! Then, they issue a new tornado warning...(at this point we've already been in the basement for about 45 minutes, and now we were in a warning for another 45 minutes! The kids were getting anxious, and scared).

I've heard from co-workers that the second storm was worse than the 1st. Honestly, since i was downstairs I just heard heavy heavy rain and winds, and didn't distinguish between the two. The second storm didn't have half as many "confirmed" reports of touchdowns as the first...but I do think the wind was much stronger with the first!

All in all...there were NO tornadoes that touched down in Lincoln. There was some flooding throughout Lincoln, and so we decided to stick around Liz's for a bit longer to let the streets drain a bit before heading home. We watched the radar to make sure we'd be alright going home (it's 10:30 now, we arrived at 6:30 or so). We decided it was too cool out for storms developing out west to turn into tornadoes...so we headed home.

We didn't notice much destruction, so it seems like for this time around...Lincoln made it out alright. It seems like the storms really wreaked havoc right after rolling through here.
Here are some more pictures of the storm continuing to move east, into the Omaha area.

Pretty freaky last night. But...we are all safe! Thank Goodness!

On a serious note. I want to Thank God for keeping all in my family safe, and for honestly keeping as many people safe as he did. There were 4 fatalities in Iowa last night around 7:00 a storm rolled through a boy scout camp site. There is no more information other than 4 confirmed deaths. Although this is devastating to everyone who has seen the story, I think it's important to remember, especially after looking at the aftermath of the storm (down trees, demolished buildings, blocked roadways, etc), that God did protect a lot of people last night. Here's a picture of some of the destruction.

There were over 120 total campers there that night. Thank GOD a majority of them were spared. My prayers are with the families of those who lost their children/husbands/family members.

Annoyances

2008-06-10T12:30:00.001-05:00

1) My radio station seriously plays the same 5 songs ALL DAY LONG. So change the channel, right? Yea, I cannot get any other channel in this damn building. What the heck do they have up in the attic area anyway?

2) News articles that tell me that $4/gallon gas is cheap, so stop complaining about it. Followed with a link to an article on how even millionaires are having trouble keeping their homes in today's "troubling economy", look at Ed McMahon. Great, Thanks! In other words, quit complaining Theresa...someday you too will not be able to afford your $500/month 500 sq. ft. apartment. Wonderful! I have so much to look forward to....thanks!

3) People telling me 4.5 weeks before my wedding "you should have eloped". Yes, I agree with you, I should have...but my future husband wanted a wedding, and I was stupid enough to say "Whatever you want dear". Yes, I wish we would have gone to the court house and just sealed the deal and not let anyone know, and just let them find out on their own (it would be interesting to see if people would EVER find out). Yes, I wish I could pay off my car rather than pay for a wedding. But seriously....4.5 weeks prior to my wedding IS NOT the time to tell me I should have eloped. Invites are out, Deposits are paid...too late now!!!

4) People who say they will be somewhere at a certain time ("I'll be there in an hour"), and then you don't hear from them for days on end. Have some damn courtesy!

5) How I can never get my shower curtain clean. What is in my water!!! Seriously, what the heck do I have to do to get my damn shower curtain clean!

6) Dog Hair! I love my Baxter...but not enough to want to bring him everywhere I go. His hair is everywhere!!! How does his hair get in my shoe? Seriously?

7) Video Games...nuff said! :)

The End!

Utne Reader

2008-06-06T08:59:00.000-05:00

Krissy introduced me to this magazine, utne reader, which from what I understand, is a magazine that pulls together "the best of the alternative press". I LOVE this magazine. I love all the articles in it, and I agree with all of it. Last night, however, I realized this makes me the biggest liberal in the world...I think. I determined this because when we were watching an old episode of Family Guy last night, Bryan (the dog...liberal minded dog), was reading Utne Reader. It doesn't get any more liberal than that now...does it?

Anyway, I wanted to discuss one of the articles in this edition, and I don't think it's too "liberal", but it reflects my beliefs in what power does to people. The article is titled "The Power of Kindness. Real clout comes from being empathetic, cooperative, and communicative".

Main points of the article:
* Niccolo Machiavelli (The Prince) and Robert Greene (The 48 Laws of Power) describe power as being feared, and "use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim"
* The article says "a new science of power has revealed that power is wielded most effectively when it's used by people who are attuned to and engaged with the needs and interests of others"
* "They also mistakenly believe that power is acquired strategically in deceptive gamesmanship and by pitting others against one another. Here Machiavelli failed to appreciate an important fact in the evolution of human hierarchies: that with increasing social intelligence, a person's power is only as strong as the status given to that person by others".
* The article states: "people with power tend to behave like patients who have damaged their brain's orbitofrontal cortex, a condition that seems to cause overly impulsive and insensitive behavior. Thus the experienceo f power might be thought of as having open up your skull and take out that part of you brain so critical to empathy and socially appropriate behavior"

Concluding Remarks of article: "Power is given to those individuals, groups, or nations who advance the interests of the greater good in socially intelligent fashion. Yet, having power renders many individuals as poorly attuned to others as your garden-variety frontal lobe patient. What people want from leaders - social intelligence - is what is damaged by the experience of power"

What do you think about the conclusions of the article...do you agree?

MIB

2008-06-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

"Here come the men in black...the galaxy defenders..."

This song is on the radio right now...during my 90's at Noon hour on the radio. This is my favorite hour of the day!! Ah, the memories these songs bring back. Like "What if God was one of us", or "None of your business", or Boyz II Men. Ah, i loved the 90's.

This imparticular song reminds me of my very first band camp. It was my sophomore year in high school, and I had just made the flagline. We went to a summer camp here in Lincoln, and stayed in the Abel dorms. It was a sweaty, miserable week...but I remember having so much fun. We would play this song loudly and do the dance in the hallway. It was so much fun. I had no idea that I would be involved with summer band camps for the next 8 years! I wish I would have enjoyed it more when I was there, because I miss it now.

I guess that's a lesson in life I should take with me. Who cares if your tired, live your life. Enjoy the moments you are in, because you will never get those moments back. All you have are the memories you have, when a certain song or smell brings them back into your mind. Isn't it worth losing sleep over to have the best memories you can! Live life to the fullest, I guess that's a good motto. I never really understood it until just now!

P.S. Now they are playing Lisa Loeb...Stay. I love that song!!!

Moving

2008-05-26T11:12:00.000-05:00

Adam received a job offer as an assitant band director at Hastings High School on Friday. They told him to call and let them know his final answer on Tuesday (tomorrow). We pretty much made the decision that he should take the job on Friday. There are a couple downfalls to this job.

1) He is replacing the assistant director who is serving a term in Iraq. Therefore, his contract will, at the longest, be one year, and at the shortest be one semester. That kind of sucks. However, we decided that even just one semester of actual full-time teaching experience is worth is.

2) He will be moving to Hastings approximately 3 weeks following our wedding. I'm a little upset about this, but at this point in our lives, I think it's best for us each to try to get as much work experience as we can...for future career reasons. So, although we will be married and living alone...I know we'll make it work. It'll be hard, but I think we can make it work!

So...we're going to try as best we can to make the next two months wonderful. Who knows how much time we'll be able to see each other once the school year starts.

In other news...I decided to lay out yesterday...for nearly two hours. When will I learn that I'm fair skinned and sitting out in the sun for more than 45 minutes is going to fry me! So...today, I had every intention of waking up and getting in a great work out...but now, i'm just here with cold towels on my burns. I'm so stupid!

Wedding Invitations

2008-05-19T12:21:00.000-05:00

This weekend we hurried to get our wedding invitations stuffed, and addressed. Today, my task was to go get postage for mailing out the invites, as well as postage for the postcard response card. Simple enough...right?

So, I leave work to go to the Post Office (which for some reason was super busy, with 2 older gentlemen there just to discuss the new stamps being offered...collectors I'm assuming?). Anyway, after 10 minutes in line, I get up to the counter and tell the lady I'd like to get some "wedding" stamps (you know, the ones with the hearts), to which she tells me..."We are backordered on those". SUPER!!!

I then pull out the invites, as well as the postcard response card to make sure the postage is what we thought it would be. Apparently not!! We were so freaking wrong it's not even funny.

My wedding invites are in 3inX5in envelopes. Apparently the minimum dimensions of a "letter" envelope (which could be mailed with 42cent stamps) is 3.5inX5in. Therefore, since my invitation is 3inX5in...it does not meet the minimum size of a letter. Therefore, according to the stupid Post Office lady, it will cost me 62Cents to mail out EACH invitation.

Then, I ask her about our "postcard" response cards. She measures it, and says "these are too short to be a postcard, they'll have to be mailed back in an envelope at 62cents".

WTF!!!!

So, what I was thinking would cost me only $69 for 100 42cent stamps, and 100 27cent postcard stamps...is now going to cost me $125 in 200 62cent stamps...plus, I'll have to have my response cards reprinted (at $30) because we already have the return labels on the response cards, but since they need to be mailed out in evelopes, we need to put our return labels on the envelope instead!!

I think i'm just gonna call the wedding off!!

Money Woes

2008-05-16T16:02:00.000-05:00

I'm excited that I now officially have my Master's Degree, but now I'm facing reality, and I don't like it. Adam and I both financed school through loans. That really was the only option for both of us, and really, what 18 year old thinks of other options? So, now, combined, Adam and I are sitting with a lot of debt in our lives, and although we haven't yet started making payments, I'm already freaking out about when that day comes.

Right now we live paycheck to paycheck. I exaggerate a bit when I say that, I do have a fair amount of money going into other accounts at the moment. One of those accounts if for wedding savings, so all that money will disappear. The other account I have way too much access to, and unfortunately I do not get much saved in there at a time...but there is savings in there at the moment. Anyway, my fear is that my school loan payments are going to basically be the amount of what I currently am setting aside into other funds. And, that's just me. what about Adam's loans?

I know once Adam gets a job the outlook will look better, but I just can't help but fear the worse. Right now we struggle to put gas in the car, and I know everyone does so I try not to worry about it, but it's true. I also struggle with keeping my credit card paid off. It's back up into the high numbers once again, and I realize I'd have more money each paycheck if I'd just pay off the credit card and leave it alone....I make $100 payments, so I would have $100 more a month.

I'm just upset with myself for not being ad diligent about saving money, and planning for paying for my student loans. I guess the dream of us moving into at least a bigger apartment won't be happening this year. Oh well, if that's what needs to be done so that I can still save money, while paying all my bills, and putting food on the table, than that is what must happen.

Husband (or future husband) Survey

2008-05-16T10:33:00.000-05:00

1. What is his name? Adam Mark Killham

2. Who eats more? Probably Adam. He is so darn skinny he can just eat and eat, and never get fat. It's really depressing actually!

3. Who said I love you first? I'm pretty sure it was me. He may argue with me on that one though.

4. Who is taller? Adam, definitely

5. Who is smarter? That's kind of a mean question isn't it? Well, when it comes to government, and public administration...probably me. But, when it comes to pop culture, music, and most other things in life...that'd be Adam! :)

6. Who is more sensitive? Definitely ME! For anyone who knows me, that's a stupid question!

7. Who does the laundry? It is usually a joint effort. We take turns sorting laundry, and changing loads of laundry, and folding and putting the clothes away. We always do laundry on Sunday's, so we usually just take turns. However, I do have a very hard time letting him fold and put away my clothes because he folds t-shirts wrong, and he also hangs my clothes up wrong (who puts a sweater in the suit section of a closet...well, Adam does!)

8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do, he wakes up at 3:00 so if he slept on the right side, he'd have to crawl over me. It's just easier this way.

9. Who pays the bills? We each have our own set of bills for now. We'll see what happens once we get married. I'm assuming we'll probably keep it the same. He has his bills, and I have my bills, and our own money to pay those bills. Who knows though, we are still discussing these options.

10. Who cooks more? Well, it used to be me, but he's really started enjoying cooking, so he does it more often. We are finally get back into the routine of both of us cooking...and I really enjoy that. Hopefully we'll get lots of nice new kitchenware for the wedding and be able to expand our cooking horizons! We both love cooking!

11. What meals do you cook together? Please see above

12. Who is more stubborn? He would say me, but I think we're both pretty even on that. We're just stubborn about different things. And, i'd like to think of it as not being stubborn, but being strong willed! :)

13. Who is the first to admit they are wrong? I would say we're pretty even on this as well. Although, I will admit, I have to admit being wrong more often than he does! He is too good to me!

14. Who is more clean? Definitely me. Mom would be so proud of how anal I have become with cleaning my house. It drives me crazy sometimes!

15. Who has more siblings? Me, I have 3 older sisters, and he only has 2 older brothers

16. Who wears the pants in the relationship? I think it all depends on the day. I'd like to think we're pretty even, but I probably push him around a lot more than he does me...so I probably have the pants on a bit higher than he does! :) I'm working on giving him more though...really!!

17. What do you like to do together? Right now, I'd be happy just to spend some time with him. We like to watch tv...i know that sounds really stupid, but it sparks conversation. We just like to be around together I guess!

18. Who eats more sweets? Definitely me

19. Guilty pleasures? Pizza on Tuesday! :)

20. How did you meet? UNL Marching Band. A match made in band nerd heaven

21. Who asked who out first? I believe I forced him to ask me out. Or, a better description would be...Tom told him he should ask me out, and I continued to ask him to ask me out.

22. Who kissed who first? I did. He is so darn shy sometimes.

23. Who proposed? He did at the house I lived in with Krissy

24. His best features? His hands, they are beautiful!

25. What is his greatest quality? His steadfastness, and his desire for music.

Ok...Liz, you have to do this now!!!

What's the point?

2006-12-28T09:30:00.000-06:00

I was just reading through some U.S. News, and now i'm just so depressed. One article was talking about how much the Iraq War is costing us yearly (just so you all know, Fiscal year 2005 we spent $120 Billion on the war, Fiscal year 2006 that increased to $170 Billion...that's INSANE!!!). That's just crazy amounts of money we are spending on something a lot of people don't even agree on. Not only that, its something that isn't benefiting us At all! That's insane. Don't you think?

Second article that really upset me was an article about the Massachusetts Judiciary saying lawmakers are not required to vote on a proposed constitutional amendment defining marriage between a man and a woman. I have never understood the arguments of marriage being a sacred union between a man and a woman. I know one person who is married and doesn't believe that at all. In his words "its a piece of fucking paper, and its what she's going to use to get most of my money if i ever chose to leave". Not too sacred if you ask me. So it got me to thinking about how this country goes from trying to give all its citizens the same rights, to going back to no longer providing everyone with the equal rights. In my person opinion, marriage doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the state. The sacredness of a marriage is in the couples opinion, and nothing more! Who is the state, a senator, a mayor, a president to say I cannot marry who I want...whether that be a man or a woman. And, further more, who are they to say I have to marry. Do you know how many couples are out there that refuse to get married because of the negative view they see on the "institution of marriage". I know people who refuse to get married because their relationship is already sacred...to them...and that's what matters. Who cares if two men want to have the same "piece of fucking paper" that a man and a woman choose to have. They are going to be together whether that have that paper or not, so why don't we just let them do it. It's not hurting us one way or the other. Not anymore than a miserable couple staying married for the sake of the children, but openly have other "side relationships". Get over yourselves people. Mind your own fucking business and let whoever wants that union have it. Who are we to judge what anyone does with their own lives.
UGH!!!!!!

Old Classmates

2006-11-02T12:40:00.000-06:00

Ok...I'm so pissed off right now, I don't even know what to do with all the anger inside of me. There are a couple reasons why I'm pissed off right now.
First, my stupid group for my class sucks. There are two other people in it, and they are both older than I am by about 20-30 years (seriously!!). Anyway, we have two reports to write for the class I'm in, and the first report is currently being graded (i'm very worried about that grade). The second report we are meeting on tonight to discuss it a bit. Well, yesterday I emailed our professor asking if I was going in the right direction with my research. To which he replied, more or less, No you are not...here's how you shoudl do it. So, I brought that to the attention of one of my group members via email, and she responded by saying we'll discuss it tongiht, and that she will email our professor as well to see what he says! HELLO....I just told you what he said. He basically laid out the plan of how we should split up the second report. What? Am I just too stupid, do you not trust that I'm telling the truth? I feel like I'm treated this way a lot in all of the classes I have taken so far. They all act like they are so much more superior than I am because I've only be in public work for approximately two years...How could I possibly know what I'm talking about...I'm only 24! Fuckers!

Second, I'm pissed at myself. Ever since I've moved into my new house I have stopped exercising and right now I'm feeling like a huge blob of shit. I spend too much time with my boyfriend, and not enough time with myself. I work, I go home, I cook dinner, I eat dinner and wahtever else I want to eat, watch tv, go to bed. My life is miserable. My sister, whom I live with, hates me and she is very open about saying so. My boyfriend is supportive, and is around a lot because I think he knows i'm slowly slipping into a bout of depression. He tries, but I think he just says nice things about me being beautiful and not fat because he has to. Right? Basically, I'm just pissed because I set my alarm this morning early enough for me to get up and work out. However, when the alarm went off, I rolled over and cuddled with Adam...and I just couldn't leave. I love cuddling with him in the early morning...when he's still sleeping. So...I'm pissed that once again I chose dear Adam over myself. Why do I keep doing that!

But, mostly...I'm pissed at my group. So...tonight, I'm gonna go lay down the law and tell them what's up. No more of this quiet little thing I've got going on. I'm not going to let them ruin the second report like the first. I WILL SPEAK MY MIND!!!!

Where it begins

2006-11-01T13:43:00.000-06:00

So....nobody I know even knows that I am starting this silly thing. I've read blogs of people I know,and of people I don't know, for awhile now. It hasn't been something I've been too serious about, but every once in awhile...its nice to read other people's thoughts. So...why then, have I decided to do it?
Well, reason 1, I have way too much going through my head on a daily basis. Sometimes I wonder how it is even possible. Like, right now, I'm thinking about my current job, my job interview in two weeks, my boyfriend and our future together, my sister and our future as sisters or not, my other sister moving to Utah, my final I need to start working on tonight, my group meeting for my other class tomorrow night, and what i'm going to do this weekend! And I can assure you, I'm giving EACH topic the same amount of space and time in my head. It's exhausting. That explains why I fell asleep last night at 6:30 (i'm freaking lame!).
Reason 2, maybe after I feel comfortable with this blog, I will let my loved ones know I've got it going, and then maybe they won't be so confused about my mood swings. I think Adam (my boyfriend) is the only person who understands my mood swings and my life currently, and I wish more people could understand. They deserve that!
Reason 3, I'm bored at work! :) Isn't that reason enough!

So....check back, I've only just begun. Perhaps next time, I'll let you know my conerns about staying in school. (Who needs a master's degree, why do I need one? Maybe I should just stop while i'm ahead...I can always go back later...right?)
Or, perhaps I'll discuss my boyfriend (who I absolutely adore, but sometimes wonder if we really are good for each other....maybe we'd be better friends, or maybe I should support him more and stop putting pressure on him to finsih school and make a commitment to me, why isn't the here and now enough for me?)
Or, I can talk about how I think my boyfriends family thinks i'm strange because I never talk around them (truth is, I don't talk around anyone...maybe that's due to low self-esteem, or fear of looking like a moron (which is usually what happens)). Let me just say, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND'S family.... I just wish I could get to know them more. But....I'm the one whose the new one in town, in a sense. It's intimidating.
Or...my job interview. Do I really want to move away from here, make less than I do now, and perhaps fail??? That seems to be my biggest fear in life. Failure!

Anyway, another day another time. The blogging has just begun!